


What If

by newgirlystuff



Category: New Girl
Genre: AU, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 20:54:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newgirlystuff/pseuds/newgirlystuff
Summary: Collection of one shots that will offer an alternate ending to those scenes we've all wanted to change. Requests are welcome.





	1. Parking Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if... Schmidt hadn't interrupted Nick and Jess that early at the end of "Parking Spot"?

**PARKING SPOT**

 

**RATING: T**

* * *

 

 

_"It was me, Jess. I couldn't help it."_

 

"You dropped your fish sticks." Nick stated, looking down at the floor and then lifting his eyes back to her face.

 

"Shut up, Nick", Jess breathed. Just shut up.

 

His eyes transfixed on hers, he took a small step forward.

 

"Listen, Jess", Nick sighed, his hand pinching his nose as he broke their eye contact. I really don't want to do this now. "I don't..."

 

"You couldn't help it?", she whispered, interrupting him. Feeling her eyes burning on him, he dropped his arm to his side and stared at her, trying to decipher her expression. Seeing nothing but honest confusion, he knew he owed her an answer.

 

Without tearing his eyes away from hers, Nick nodded his head slowly, almost afraid to say anything. What kind of answer is that?, he thought. But before he had a chance to open his mouth and explain himself any further, something flashed across her face. Something that he couldn't quite identify, but was somehow certain he had never seen on her face before. _Is that...?_

 

Not thinking it twice, he leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against hers, his arms reaching for her hips and yanking her to him. Hoping that she would understand why he'd said those words, and why he'd kissed her in the first place just a few weeks back.

 

Feeling her surprise, Nick thought he had felt her starting to pull back, when her arms suddenly went around his neck. His heart skipped a beat when he heard her sighing, her body moulding against him. Jess dropped her right hand to his shirt and fisted it, running her other hand through his hair. Opening her mouth to him, she moaned softly at his ministrations. Nick's hands worked on their own, roaming over her back and tangling in her soft hair. He moaned, reluctantly breaking the kiss. "I was always better at showing than telling", he whispered, and she smiled lightly.

 

Resting their foreheads together, Jess closed her eyes. "I'm still confused, Nick", she said. "I mean..."

 

"I know, Jess. I'm confused too. I just... I've never had this with anyone else, you see? What you and I have, it's different from any other thing, just like you said. And I can't lose that."

 

"Why would you lose it?", Jess asked, lifting her head so she could look at him.

 

"Because that's the way it always works with me. Whenever I get too close... I end up messing things up, Jess. I don't know why, or how. I only know that's the outcome I always get. And I don't... I can't have it happening with you", he sighed, slowly dropping his arms from her hips.

 

"And why is that?", Jess pressed lightly.

 

Tilting his head to the side, he stared at her. "Because you mean a lot to me, Jess. I like you, remember?", he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

 

"I like you too", Jess smiled. "But I really need to know how you feel, Nick. Ever since that kiss, I've been wondering. What do you want from me?". Jess knew she was playing with fire, because Nick had never liked nor known how to express himself. But she had to give it a try. However, she was not expecting what came out of his mouth.

 

"Everything you're willing to give me", he paused. It's now or never, so might as well tell her everything now. "I want everything, Jess. I can't go on pretending we're just friends, I don't want to."

 

A moment passed while Jess tried to process what he'd just said. "You want...a relationship with me?", she asked, feeling the need to hear his reply.

 

"Yeah", he nodded his head. Unsure of what was going through her head, he quickly added. "But if that's not what you want, then..."

 

"I do", Jess interrupted for the second time.

 

"Really?", Nick grinned as his face lit up. "You do?"

 

Smiling, Jess nodded her head. "Yes. We gotta figure this out, Miller."

 

The pressure on his chest starting to ease, Nick's arms went around her body again, and he kissed her forehead lightly.

 

"So...just so we're clear...we're together now?"

 

"I...guess so. You, me, together", Jess sang lightly, and smiled when she saw him shaking his head. Pressing her lips to his, Jess felt the burden that she'd been carrying on her shoulders starting to ease. Nibbling on his lower lip, she couldn't help but chuckle at how surreal it all seemed now.

 

"What?", Nick asked. "What's so funny?"

 

"This. It should be awkward, you know? You and me, getting together? But it feels natural."

 

Smiling, he nodded his head. "It's weird that this doesn't feel weird", he smiled. "You know...Winston and Schmidt...they knew I had a thing for you. Especially Winston. He was the one who started the whole 'emotional fluffer' thing."

 

"Oh, really?", Jess smiled. "So this goes back in time, huh? It's not something new?", she asked, although she already knew the answer.

 

"You know it's not. At least not for me", he teased.

 

"Hey! Not new for me either!", Jess said, pretending to be offended.

 

"Oh, come on. It was my freaking awesome kiss that made you look at me in a totally different way. It was an eye-opener", he said, smiling cockingly.

 

"No, it wasn't. I had thought about...us. Before that. It just... It was more of a fantasy than anything else."

 

"Yeah, I remember something like 'I can barely stand you', 'You drive me nuts'...", Nick teased her again.

"Well, I remember you saying you didn't want...the rewards. You sure you want to follow that path?"

 

"Hell, no", he answered, and she chuckled.

 

"Nick", she said, her face serious. "When you kissed me that night...were you hoping...you know?"

 

"That you would dump Sam and then get together with me? Honestly, no", he said, his mind going back to their very first kiss. "I acted on impulse. I couldn't help it", he repeated, and smiled when he saw her smirk.

 

"Well, just for the record...It was indeed a great kiss, Nick. You were right."

 

"I know", he grinned, and she punched his shoulder lightly.

 

"Come on, let me take you out to dinner."

 

"You mean like a date?", Jess said, her eyes bright.

 

"Yeah. Let's get going, before Schmidt comes back and sees the mess on the floor. If we're lucky, he'll clean it up." Chuckling, they grabbed their coats and headed for the front door together, when it suddenly opened to reveal Schmidt. Eyeing them up and down, he buffed.

 

_"What are you two doing?"_


	2. Cooler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if... Sam hadn't been in the apartment at the end of "Cooler"?

**_COOLER_ **

**_RATING: T_ **

 

* * *

 

 

_"I meant something like that"._

 

As he started to feel the sweat pooling on his back, Nick dropped his hands from her waist, turned around on his heels and slammed his bedroom door shut. Slumping against it, he banged his head and closed his eyes tightly. Wiping his forehead, he walked to his bed and threw himself down onto it, burying his face on the pillows and groaning. _Damn it_.This shouldn't have gone that way. Punching a pillow, he threw his legs over the bed and got into a sitting position, his back to the door. Scratching his head furiously, he slapped himself hard. He knew she had a boyfriend, he knew she was happy... He knew she couldn't stand the thought of cheating, and he knew he shouldn't have kissed her. But all that she has a boyfriend crap didn't mean a thing to him at that moment. Still tasting her on his lips, the only thing that truly worried him was how he might have hurt her feelings, how he might have hurt her. He knew that she had kissed him back, though, and that brought a cocky grin to his face. Breathing deeply, he opened his eyes and turned his head to the door, as if trying to see if she was still outside.

 

Meanwhile in the hallway, Jess stood frozen right where he'd left her. Tracing her kiss-swollen lips with her fingers, she stared at his closed door. Had that just happened? Her roommate, her friend, had just kissed the hell out of her, and then he'd walked out on her. His hands had roamed over her body, and he'd gripped her waist and forced his tongue into her mouth. And then,... then he'd just left. Jess found herself staring at his door when a certain face appeared on her head. _Sam. Oh God, Sam_. Guilt spread in her chest as she remembered her boyfriend for the first time that night. She'd just done the one thing she hated the most: cheating. A part of her wondering what would have happened if Nick hadn't broken their kiss, if he'd tried to take it further... she shivered. Her head still spinning, Jess started to feel her shock turning into anger. _How dare he...?_

 

Marching over to his room, she didn't bother knocking before yanking the door open and pushing herself into the room, slamming it shut again. The sight of him, as he stared at her, infuriated her even more.

 

"What the hell was that, Nick?", she said, hands on her hips and eyes big and bright.

 

"Listen, Jess..."

 

"Don't you "Jess" me! Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking?"

 

"I...Jess, I wasn't thinking."

 

"Damn right you weren't! I can't believe you kissed me!"

 

"Wait... I kissed you?". Nick stood up and took a step towards her, raising his voice. "I might have started it, but I don't remember you complaining nor stopping me from doing it!"

 

Closing her mouth, Jess balled her fists, aware that he was right. "That's not the point, Nick! You know I have a boyfriend!"

 

"Yeah, I do. But you didn't seem to mind back there, Jess", he said, getting closer to her.

 

Pushing him back, she poked his chest. "You launched yourself at me! I...had no reaction time! And that's not the point!", she repeated.

 

"I was just finishing the game, Jess."

 

"Right. Except that you kissed me after the game had finished. So you weren't finishing anything, and you had no right to do it!"

 

"Bullshit. That's not true and you know it. You could have stopped me at any time. And you didn't." Nick folded his arms across his chest. "You wanted to kiss me, Jess. And you enjoyed it."

 

"That is...not true", she said, lowering her eyes briefly to the floor before she looked up at him again. No longer yelling, she cleared her throat and held his gaze. "And you haven't answered me yet. Why did you do it?"

 

Sighing, he shrugged his shoulders. "I told ya. Just finishing what we started, you know? I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd freak out that hard. I won't do it again."

 

Trying to hide her disappoinment, Jess shook her head. "Oh. So it was just the game."

 

"Yep. I think I drank a little bit to much, so..."

 

"Great. Fantastic", Jess replied bitterly, turning on her heels and reaching for the doorknob.

 

"Hey, hey! What's that now?", Nick grabbed her elbow, spinning her around to look at him. Her eyes looked down at his hand, as they both remembered what had happened when Nick grabbed her in the exact same way that night. Letting go of her, he frowned. "What else do you want me to say?"

 

"Nothing, Nick. You made yourself very clear. We both had a lot to drink and you were just finishing the game. I get it." Trying to turn around again, his voice stopped her.

 

"Wait...why does that make you angry? Isn't it what you wanted to hear?"

 

"What? I'm not angry, Nick. Look, I'm tired. We'll talk tomorrow, OK?" Pausing to look at him, she forced a smile. Opening his door, she left the room in a rush without waiting for an answer. Staring at the spot where she'd just been standing, Nick scrunched his nose. Man up, he though, as he heard her door close.

 

Entering her room, Jess got rid of her robe and dropped it on the bed, letting herself fall down next to it. Just the game. His words replayed on her head over and over. Kicking her flats aside, she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her back against the headboard, closing her eyes. Her mind went back to their passionate encounter in the hallway, and she felt goosebumps on her skin as she remembered how strong his arms were, how wonderful he smelled, how demanding but soft his lips were against hers...

 

The knock on her door startled her, and she opened her eyes just in time to see his head poking through the door. Pushing herself to her feet, she stared at him.

 

"What is it?"

 

Stepping inside the room, he shut the door quietly and looked at her. "I, uhm, I'm not done. And I don't want to wait until morning."

 

Twisting his hands nervously, he took a step forward and scratched his scruff, his eyes not leaving her face.

 

"I kissed you because I wanted to. I had wanted to kiss you for a while, and I saw a chance. And I took it", he stated bluntly. Feeling his heart beating crazily against his chest, he tried to read her face.

 

"But then... Why did you walk away?", Jess inquired softly, anger replaced by confusion.

 

"Because, Jess. You said it yourself. You have a boyfriend, and I crossed a line I shouldn't have crossed. I had no right to do it, and I'm sorry", Nick said, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.

 

"You...wanted to kiss me?", she asked, taking a step towards him. "Why?"

 

Staring at her, he turtle-faced. "I guess... I really don't know, Jess. All I know is that it's something I had been wanting to do for a long time now."

 

"And do you want to do it again?", Jess asked, coming dangerously close to him and looking deep into his eyes.

 

"What?" He widened his eyes at her, and saw the light smile on the corner of her lips.

 

"I asked you if you want to kiss me again, Miller."

 

Gulping, he stared down at their arms, that were almost touching. Lifting his eyes back at hers, he sighed. "Yes, I do. But Sam and you..."

 

"Just forget about Sam, Nick. What do you want?"

 

After a few seconds holding her gaze, he answered,"I want you, Jess. All of you."

 

Closing the space between them, Jess leaned forward and kissed him, pulling him closer. His hands sneaked to her back and she wrapped her arms around him, her lips parting as he claimed her mouth for the second time that night. Melting against him, she sighed and he swallowed the sound.

 

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, only aware of her lips and tongue moving against his as her hands grabbed his shirt. Moaning softly, Jess pushed herself away lightly.

 

"Wait", she interrupted as they came up for air. "This is not OK."

 

She let go of him and turned her head to the side, scanning the room. Walking back, she located her phone and scrolled down the screen. "I just texted Sam. I want to have breakfast with him tomorrow."

 

"Oh", Nick said, as he felt his gut punched. "Uh-huh."

 

Rolling her eyes, Jess smiled. "I need to tell him about this. I'm going to break up with him."

 

"What?" Nick stared at her in disbelief. "You're breaking up with him just like that?"

 

"Well...not just like that. We've been having some...disagreements for a while now. We started badly, I guess deep down I always knew it would never work out between us. And after this...well, I guess I have yet another reason to end things with him."

 

"So you're breaking up with him...for me?", he grinned, clearly proud of himself.

"Don't get all cocky now, Miller. It was going to happen sooner or later."

 

"Yeah. But it happened now, so..." Reaching for her hand, he pulled her in for another mind-blowing kiss. When they broke apart, she smiled at him.

 

"I don't mean to kill the mood, Jess, but we should really go to bed". Seeing her grin spreading across her face, he added. "Alone. You here, me there."

 

She chuckled and pushed him softly. "I know. But we still have to talk about this, Nick."

 

"And we will. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow. But right now...", she leaned forward and silenced him with a soft kiss. "I know".

 

Nodding his head, he walked to her door and looked back at her, smiling. "Goodnight, Jess."

 

"Goodnight, Nick."

 


	3. Naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if... Amanda wasn't with Nick when Jess dropped the towel in his room at the end of "Naked"?

**NAKED**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

_"Men are simple. You've seen his, show him yours."_

 

And that's how Jessica Day had ended up in Nick Miller's room, wearing nothing but a towel and nervous as she'd ever been. Breathing slowly, she sat down on his bed as she tried to calm herself. She was about to flash her naked body to her friend.

 

_Her. Naked. Body._

 

"Ugh!". Standing up, Jess started to pace the room, biting down on her lip. Stopping in front of his mirror, she opened the towel and looked up and down her body. She was thin, but curvy, and she had to admit she was pretty proud of her slender waist, the firmness of her stomach, and the curve of her thighs. Her breasts weren't huge, but just the right size and perfectly shaped. She knew she had a beautiful body, although she was sometimes shy with it. Then, her eyes stopped on her face. Her long, dark curls framed her soft features nicely, and her eyes were even bigger than usual, a darker shade of blue to them as she gazed into the mirror. She had applied some eyeliner and mascara that made them pop, because she knew how they drew men's attention. Smiling, she dropped the towel to the floor and turned around, scanning his room.

 

And then she heard the front door open and slam shut. Bending over, she quickly grabbed the towel and placed it on his bed, sitting with her legs hanging off the mattress. Her full body on display, Jess flicked her hair to her back and planted her hands on either side of her body, pushing her chest forward and exposing the line of her neck. She felt herself shiver with excitement as she saw the doorknob turn.

 

The door opened and Nick pushed himself inside his room. His mouth fell open and his eyes grew wide as he noticed her. His keys fell to the floor, but he ignored it as he stared at her. Unable to tear his gaze off her, he just stood there frozen, his hand still on the doorknob as his eyes raked over her exposed body. She smiled and stood up, grinning when she saw his eyes fixed on her breasts. Feeling extra-confident, she placed her hands on her hips and stared at him, shock evident all over his face. _My God, she's beautiful_.

 

"Are you gonna say something or what?"

 

Shaking his head, he lifted his eyes and snapped. "What the hell are you doing, Jess?". He kicked the door shut, and focusing on her face for the first time, he noticed how gorgeous and stunning she looked, her eyes a shade of blue he could swear he'd never seen before. Gulping, he forced a frown and stared at her intensely.

 

Her face falling as the lost confidence, she quickly turned around and reached for the towel, wrapping herself tightly in it. Feeling her cheeks reddening, she mumbled, "I saw yours, now I show you mine." What?

 

"What?"

 

"I saw your pee-pee and now I show you my gumbo pot", she blurted out. _What?_

 

Folding his arms across his chest, he scrunched his nose, his face a mix of confusion and amusement. "And why exactly did you think that was a good idea?"

 

"It's just... Cece said it would make things less weird."

 

"Right. Cece. Well, Jess, I think it's safe to say she was wrong. This is... You can't just...wait for me in my room and flash me, Jessica!", he yelled, suddenly becoming angry.

 

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Nick. But you wouldn't even look at me! I had to try and fix it somehow!"

 

"And embarrassing yourself by showing me your naked body was going to fix it?" No sooner had the words left his mouth, Jess' face fell as she started walking towards his door, the towel firmly wrapped around her. She needed to be out of his room.

 

"Jess, wait." Nick grabbed her elbow and spun her around. "I didn't mean it to sound like that."

 

"It's OK, Nick, I get it. It was stupid of me to think that you would...", she interrupted herself and stared at her own feet, purposely avoiding his gaze.

 

"That I would what? Jess, we're roommates. We can't just go around naked, you know?", he said, chuckling lightly.

 

"Yeah, I know that", she said, smiling softly.

"Then what is it?"

 

"Just... The way you looked at me before. For a moment I thought you...were liking what you were seeing", she blushed even harder and hid her face behind her hand.

 

"Wait a minute...", Nick said, as he connected the pieces. "You think I don't find you attractive?", he said, widening his eyes in horror. As she quietly nodded, he forced her hand down. "Jess, you know you're beautiful."

 

"You...you think I'm beautiful?", she asked shyly, looking at him and biting down hard on her lip.

 

Laughing, he shook his head. "Well, I'm not blind, Jess. Of course I think you're beautiful. Hell, I think you're gorgeous. And that's why this was a terrible idea." He stated, and she frowned.

 

"I'm a man, Jessica! I'm not inmune, you know? Now I'll be picturing you naked all the time!"

 

"Don't do that!", she yelled, slapping his arm repeatedly.

 

"What did you expect?", he laughed, as he grabbed her hand still. "Now I can see you naked anytime I want!"

 

"What?"

 

"See? I just have to do this...", he paused and closed his eyes, "Aaaaaaand there it is!"

 

"Nick? Stop it!"

 

"Nu-huh!", he shook his head while keeping his eyes closed. "I want you to feel the same amount of embarrassment you made me feel with your little 'hihiiii' laugh. And I can see everything!", he grinned, pointing at her now covered body.

 

"Don't tease me, Nick! Just erase it from your memory!"

 

"Oh, no", he laughed again. "I can only promise not to share any details with the guys."

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"Are you kidding me? Don't you remember when you saw me naked? Don't you remember Schmidt's questions?"

 

"Oh, God, no."

 

"Exactly. He'll want to know everything. Shape, size,..."

 

"Stop!", Jess yelled again. " I can't believe I let Cece talk me into this!"

 

"Yeah, well, now that I think about it... I guess I should give her a call and thank her."

 

"You're not gonna stop, are you?"

 

Grinning, he shook his head. "Nope."

 

"Okay. Just remember...Schmidt still doesn't know your.. _.size and shape_. And I have a pretty good memory too, Miller."

 

"Don't you dare", he said, before they both started laughing.

 

"Hey, Jess?", Nick said. "That's a really nice body you got under there."

 

Smiling, she replied. "Same goes for your... _penis_."

 

"Well now look at you, all grown up! Finally managed to say it!", he chuckled.

 

After a few silent moments, Jess looked at him and grinned. "Still thinking about it?"

 

"Yep."

 

"Okay. I'll better go."

 

"Yeah, you should." Looking at her, he couldn't help but smile. "And let's just keep this to ourselves, shall we?"

 

"God, of course." Turning her back to him, she opened his door. "Goodnight, Nick."

 

"Goodnight, Jess". Nick smiled as she left his room. Shaking his head, he started walking towards his closet when he heard it.

 

_"Heathens, Jessica, Nicholas! What on earth are you two animals doing?"_

 

 

 


	4. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... it had been Nick, and not Schmidt, at the loft at the end of "Valentine's Day"?

**VALENTINE'S DAY**

 

**RATING: M**

 

* * *

 

 

_"Jess, you don't want your first one-night stand to be with some total stranger. You've got to pick someone who's not gonna make a big deal out of the whole thing. And... whatever you do, leave immediately afterwards."_

 

"Right, I guess you're right."

 

"Of course I am", Nick grinned and squeezed her shoulder.

 

After an awful evening with Julia (his romantic plan had backfired and she'd decided to break up with him- _Happy Valentine's to me!_ ), he'd bumped into Jess in the hallway. He'd told her about his breakup, and then she'd told him about her equally awful date, trying to laugh the whole thing off, but Nick knew she was only trying to hide her emotions away again. He'd tried to comfort her, blaming Schmidt for leaving her alone and laughing when she told him about their friend's "Youths everywhere!" outburst.

 

"Ugh! Then I guess I won't be needing these anytime soon", Jess opened her bag and pulled the box of condoms out. Nick widened his eyes in horror as he eyed the package, his mouth hanging open.

 

"Jess? Are you sure... I mean, are you sure you know how to use condoms?"

 

Rolling her eyes, she shook the box. "Yeah, I know. Schmidt told me you guys can only go for it twice, three times tops. But I'd already bought this box."

 

Shaking his head, he chuckled. "You're really one of a kind, Jess."

 

She smiled at him and lowered her eyes to the floor. Nick pinched his nose and sighed. "Hey, I think I'm going to go to bed. You OK to be alone?"

 

"Sure. I'll try to get some sleep too", she answered.

 

"Hm. Just remember what I told you before, alright?", he said, already turning his back to her as he headed for his room. "Night, Jess", he said, the sound of his door closing muffling her answer.

 

As she was left alone, Jess clutched the box of condoms to her chest, Nick's words replaying on her head. _You've got to pick someone who's not gonna make a big deal out of the whole thing_. _Never a stranger._ Biting her lip, she widened her eyes as a thought crossed her mind.

 

_Did he...? Would he...?_

 

Staring at his closed door, she grinned. He was her friend, after all, so not a stranger there. And then... there was something different between them. She loved all of her three roommates, sure, but Nick an her shared something special, something she couldn't quite put a label on. But she knew it was there. And she was sure he knew it too. _And he's single now, isn't he?_

 

Looking down at herself, she straightened her short pants and took off her shoes, careless throwing them along with the box into her room. Walking inside, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. All clad in black, her hair loose around her shoulders and her eyes smokey. Her hands pushed her shirt a little bit down, exposing the tops of her breasts. Glad she was wearing the push-up bra Cece had forced her to buy, she smiled at herself and spun around, looking over her shoulder. Following the line of her back, she wiggled her butt and chuckled at the sight. She lowered her pants and removed the black tights, quickly putting her pants back on. A devilish grin creeping over her face, she poked her head outside the room and breathed deeply.

 

_Why not him?_

 

Her decision already made, she grabbed the box of condoms and marched over to his room, stopping at the door. Raising her hand, she stopped herself before knocking and took a deep breath. Starting to feel unsure about her plan, he chewed on her lower lip. Memories of Nick and her together over the past year started to fill her mind, and she smiled as he thought of her clumsy, grumpy, but very attractive roommate. She was pretty sure she'd never had that connection with a guy, and she just... Couldn't miss such a chance.

 

So why not him?

 

Taking another deep breath, she opened his door and pushed herself into his room. Lying on his bed, Nick had his arms across his face, but he immediately sat up, startled at the sound.

 

"Fuck, Jess! What are you doing?", he said, his hand clutching his chest. "You scared the hell outta me!"

 

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!", she yelled back, frozen in place.

 

Standing up, he rounded the bed and approached her. Hands on his hips, he stared at her questioningly. "What?", he said, his voice a lower tone.

 

Shyly, she held the box of condoms up and waved it in front of his face.

 

"I was thinking that maybe...", she said, suggestively.

 

"Maybeeee...what?", he said, clearly not following. "You actually don't know how to use them, do you?"

 

"No, it's not that. You see, what you said before..."

 

"What?"

 

"I just thought... Maybe you and me could...shake things up a little bit?"

 

As soon as the words left her mouth, his eyes widened as he understood her intention.

 

"What? Are you...?", his eyes got even bigger when he noticed the box in her hands. _She wants to have sex with me!_

 

"What do you say? Are you in or are you out?", she said, walking over to his nightstand and placing down the box she was holding.

 

"Am I... Jess, are you listening to yourself now?"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because you sound crazy, that's why!" _Why am I even trying? Just say yes already!_

 

"Why? I'm just following your advice, Nick!"

 

"You don't... That's not how it works, Jess. We're friends!"

 

"Uh...Yeah! Which makes you not a stranger, right?"

 

"Jess, we can't do this. It could ruin everything we have so far..."

 

"Or we could get something amazing! People do this all the time!"

 

"Do what?"

 

"The 'friends with benefits' thing!"

 

"Friends with... Wait, you want to do it more than once?". _Yes, yes, yes. Do it. Just say yes._

 

"Well, yeah. Maybe. I guess so, yeah. What, can't you take it, Miller?"

 

"Me? Meh. I'm a guy, Jess. I'm perfectly fine with meaningless sex with beautiful women", he said, using the same words she'd used with him months before and watching her blush. "You're the one that can't compartmentalise and separate sex from love!"

 

"Who says that?"

 

"Come on, Jess. Admit it."

 

"There's nothing to admit, Nick. I'm offering you sex. We would be just two friends who occasionally have sex. Can you take it or not?", she dared. " Do you want it or not?", she lowered her voice and took a step forward and closer to him.

 

"You're on, Jessica". Stepping closer, he framed her face with his hands and captured her lips between his, quickly forcing his tongue inside her mouth. His hands grabbed her hips as her arms went around his neck, drawing him closer as she melted into the kiss. Spinning her around, he started pushing her towards his bed, stopping when her legs hit the mattress. "You sure?", he asked, breathlessly. She grabbed his shirt and let herself fall onto the bed, pulling him down with her and resuming their kissing. "Guess that's a yes", he muttered between kisses. Hooking her leg around his waist, she rolled them on the bed and straddled his lap, her hands quickly lifting his shirt. He sat up and she pressed their chests together while nibbling on his lip.

 

Nick's hand sneaked between their bodies and he managed to get rid of her shirt, his eyes darkening as they levelled with her breasts. Starting to kiss and nip at the skin there, he heard her deep moan and felt her hand pulling at his hair. "God, Nick", she mumbled, her head falling back. Not wasting any time, he unsnapped her bra and let it fall down her arms. "You're beautiful, Jess", he whispered, and then his mouth was back on her breast. But then, in a second, she forced his head up and started pulling his jeans and boxers down his legs, while he unzipped her pants and threw them across the room. Jess started rubbing herself against him, pushing him on his back and placing her hands on his chest to steady herself. Aware that her panties were the only barrier between them, his hand shot to the nightstand were she'd placed the condoms. Blindly reaching for one, he smiled when she grabbed the condom from him and rolled it down on him. Then, she lifted herself slightly off him and removed her underwear, sighing when she felt him against her core.

 

"Last chance to stop this, Miller."

 

Grinning, he leaned forward and sucked on her lip. "No problem here, Day".

 

Nodding her head, she saw him manoeuvring between their bodies as he placed himself at her opening. Without warning, he pushed inside and she groaned loudly at the sudden intrusion. Stilling inside her, he grabbed her hips and waited for her to adjust to his size. Trying not to move, he focused on her face. Her eyes were closed and there was a light blush to her cheeks, and to Nick, she'd never looked more beautiful than then.

 

"Open your eyes, Jess."

 

The sound of his voice was enough for her to snap, and she started moving her hips slowly, soft moans leaving her throat. They found their rhythm easily, and it wasn't long before they both felt the familiar feeling of a building climax. Wanting to slow things down, Nick rolled her on her back, ignoring her soft protest, and felt her legs going around his waist as her feet started digging into him. Aware that they were both way past the point of no return, he increased his tempo while kissing the line of her neck, and was soon feeling the muscles around him starting to clench. Jess arched her back and muffled a scream against his shoulder, her nails raking over his back as she marked him. It only took Nick a few more trusts before he followed her, whispering her name over and over. And then he collapsed on top of her, exhausted and spent.

 

Pulling out of her body, he rolled to his side and stared at the ceiling, as they both tried to calm their breathing. He disposed of the condom and fell back against the pillows, looking at her relaxed form. Turning her body to him, she smiled.

 

"That was...so much better than expected!"

 

"What?", he frowned, looking at her confused.

 

"You were right! You are good in bed, Nick!", she chuckled.

 

Resting his head on one hand, he started tracing the curve of her hip. "Told ya."

 

Smiling, she closed her eyes and lingered on his touch. When she opened them, she was met with his stare.

 

"Hey, Jess? We're OK now, aren't we? I mean...this isn't gonna be weird, right?"

 

"Of course not! But we can still...do this?"

 

"It's fine by me!", he said, and she playfully pushed him back.

 

"Then I guess...I better be going", she sat up and scanned his room, looking for her clothes. Getting out of his bed, she grabbed her underwear and put it back on, smiling as she saw him staring at her from his position on his bed. "Like what you see?"

 

"Obviously", he grinned. When she was dressed, she approached Nick's side of the bed and sat down on it, as he moved his body to make room for her. "This was great, Nick."

 

"Yeah, it really was."

 

Giving him a quick peck on the lips, she stood up and started walking towards his door. "See you tomorrow, then?"

 

Nodding his head, he smiled at her. "Sure thing, Jess". Watching her disappear behind his door, he slumped back on the pillows and covered his eyes with his arms. Glancing at his nightstand, he stared at the box she'd left there. Her fruity smell all over his now empty sheets, he sighed and punched the mattress.

 

_This is not going to be enough._

 

Meanwhile across the hall, Jess was tucked under her cold sheets, trying to convince herself that everything would be the same in the morning, but knowing that was not what she wanted. Sighing, she buried her face on the pillows.

 

_This is not going to be enough._


	5. Cruise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Nick had kissed Jess during the last episode of season 3, Cruise?

**CRUISE**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"You look like you belong here."_

 

His eyes locked with hers and he took a moment to admire those blues he had loved for years, that were the perfect complement to her already outstanding beauty. His hand shot out to her and he placed his palm on her cheek, caressing the skin there softly. Glancing down briefly, he noticed her mouth lightly open as her tongue darted out to wet her lips. And that's when he realised what a stupid mistake it had been to let her go. His brain shut down as he started to lean forward, suddenly pressing his lips against hers before he could think it twice.

 

Swallowing her gasp of surprise, his tongue started to explore her mouth. Unbelievable sensations exploded inside him when he felt the first circle of her tongue against his. Grabbing her head in his hands, he kissed her harder and felt her moan as her hand fisted his shirt, drawing his body closer. Whispering around them reminded Nick of the fact that they were not alone, and he broke the kiss to stare into her eyes.

 

Watching her stunned expression, he felt his back starting to sweat.

 

"I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from", he blurted out, the voice in his head immediately screaming at him. He scrunched his nose at her, knowing that she probably knew he was lying. Her face fell at his words.

 

"Oh. You... Don't know where that came from? That's it?", Jess said, pushing him back and folding her arms across her chest. "That's all you're going to say?". Her face had lost any trace of amusement it might have had, and it had been replaced by annoyance.

 

"I don't...", Nick moved away from her and started muttering under his breath. "I'm sorry", he said, getting up as he tried to ignore the look on her face. Turning around, he started to walk away from her and to the cabins, but it was only seconds before she was by his side. Grabbing his arm, she stopped him before he opened the door and made him spin around to face her.

 

"Don't you even try it", she said, pointing her finger at him. Her face was flushed and her eyes were bright, the only sound on deck the breathing of them both. "Don't you walk away on me." She was pissed now, and his reaction wasn't making it any better.

 

"Listen, Jess...", he started.

 

"No, Nick! You can't just do stuff...", she waved her hands in the air. "And then leave like nothing happened! You always do the same thing!" Seeing him struggle with words only infuriated her more.

 

"I don't know what to say, Jess. I'm sorry."

 

"Will you stop with the "I'm sorry" already?", she said, hands on her hips as she waited for him to talk. A few seconds passed, and he just stood there looking at her, no words coming out of his mouth.

 

"You are a coward", she hissed. Pushing him back, she moved to walk past him. But his strong arm caught her wrist and stopped her as she was reaching for the doorknob. His eyes burned into her as he walked her backwards, pressing her against the wall. Placing his hands on either side of her head, he leaned forward until their noses were almost touching and his body caging hers.

 

"Stop it, Jess."

 

She looked at him and raised her chin defiantly. "Oh look at that, I finally got a reaction", she spit the words bitterly. "Are you actually going to say something?". She knew she was overreacting- after all, she had kissed him back- but she just couldn't stop talking.

 

"I said stop it, Jessica."

 

"No, I won't stop it, Nicholas! This isn't working! This is not what friends do!"

 

"Don't you think I know that, damn it?", he smacked his palm flat against the wall, the sudden movement and his roar startling her. "I'm not fucking blind, OK?", he lowered his voice. She had never seen him so mad and upset and broken before, and it killed her to see him in pain. "I know it isn't working, Jess", he said, letting his head fall back in a defeated gesture. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply and looked at her again. "But the thing is... I don't want it to work." _There, he'd said it._

 

"What?", she widened her eyes and then frowned. "What do you mean?", she asked.

 

"I mean..." he stopped himself. Breathing deeply again, he pressed their foreheads together, breathing her in and not missing the soft gasp that came out of her mouth the moment his skin touched her.

 

"Nick...", she whispered. She wanted to say no, she wanted to push him back, to run somewhere away from him... But somehow she found her arms going around his waist as she closed her eyes. Damn, she missed him.

 

"What, Jess?", he asked, tilting his head back. Staring into her eyes, he felt a sudden impulse to hug her and bury his face in her shoulder. _Damn, he missed her._

 

"I don't know", she said, feeling her throat burning as tears started to cloud her vision. "I don't know", she repeated, unable to stop a small sob from escaping her.

 

His arms went around her body and he hugged her close to him, as they listened to the soft sounds of the sea around them. They stood like that for a while, none of them wanting to let go. Memories of their time together filled their minds and they relaxed into each other, their bodies pressed close and swaying slightly under the moon. Pushing herself off him, she traced his jaw slowly, her eyes following her finger. Stopping right under his mouth, she traced his lower lip slowly. And before she knew it, it was her pressing her lips to his. She felt him tense for a second, but he opened his mouth to her as his hands gripped her hips possessively, dragging her as close to him as he could. She moaned softly and ran her hands through his hair, kissing him until they had to come up for air.

 

"We're so not doing this right", Nick said, not losing the hold he had on her.

 

"No, we're not", she agreed.

 

"Jess...", he sighed. "Can't we just go back a few weeks? Forget all of this ever happened and just..."

 

"Be us again?", she finished, and he nodded his head. Her lip quivered slightly. "But what if we blow it up again? I...we... I don't think we could take it", she said, fear evident in her trembling voice. "I can't lose you, Nick. I can't", she said, and he just threw his arms around her.

 

"Hey, hey... Jess, I promise you... No matter what happens between us, you are not going to lose me. Ever", he said, hugging her tight against his chest. "You hear me? I'm serious, Jess." She muffled her approval on his shirt, and he chuckled at the sound. Smiling, she pulled back to look at him.

 

"Are we doing this, then?", she asked, her hand fisting his shirt.

 

"We are", he answered immediately. "Jess, I need you to know... I don't want any of those things. I don't care about Mars, I don't want a truck, I'm not naming my child Reginald...", she chuckled at this. "You mean the world to me, Jess."

 

"I... Nick...", Jess was the one struggling for words now. "I love you. And we don't need to plan our future, I just..."

 

His lips silenced her as he cupped her face in between his hands. "I know, God. I know." He kissed her in desperation, and she choked back the tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes. Laughing softly, she threw her arms around his neck and nibbled at his lips, drawing a groan from him.

 

"We're so stupid", Jess said in between kisses. "I'm so sorry."

 

"I'm sorry too", he kissed her one more time and then reached for her hands. "You know I love you too, right?"

 

"I would hope so", she laughed, kissing his lips again. "Nick, I don't mean to kill the mood, but it's starting to get chilly out here..."

 

"Oh, come on, Jess. This was so romantic! On a cruise, under the moon...", he teased her. "Huh... I guess we could head inside", he smiled, opening the door for her.

 

They started walking together hand in hand, stopping in front of their door.

 

"Do you want to tell the guys yet?"

 

"I don't know. It could be our sexy little secret."

 

"Oh, that could be fun!"

 

Wrapping their arms around each other, they kissed again, deeply and passionately. Their lips still joined, they heard the door opening to reveal four very shocked faces.

 

"What are you two doing?"


	6. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Nick and Jess' first date went a little different than we saw?

  **FIRST DATE**

 

**RATING: M**

 

* * *

  
_"Night, Miller"_

 

_"Night, Day"_

 

Jess sighed as she let herself rest back against her now closed door. Her head was spinning and she tried to control her trembling body, but she could do nothing to keep her heart from beating hard against her chest. Opening eyes she hadn't realised she'd closed, she turned her head to the side and rested her cheek on the door. The last few hours replayed on her mind, and Jess had to admit they'd had an amazing time together. Definitely not what she expected when she agreed to go out to dinner with him. Starting with the restaurant, so fancy, so elegant, so... _Not Nick_. Did he do that for her? She would have settled for the hotdog stand just to be with him. Did he still think that she needed more from him than he could offer?

 

Shaking her head, Jess walked to her bed and placed the food down on her bedside table. She then kicked her flats aside before sitting down on the mattress. She sighed again and stared at the door, a sudden impulse to yank it open and run into his room making her palms ache.

 

"Ugh!", she groaned, letting her body fall back on the bed. What is wrong with me?, she thought. It's just Nick. Nick Miller, her friend. Nick, the lazy 'writer'. The grumpy bartender. The cranky old man who ate with his hands... But her Nick. Jess sat back up as she realised where her thoughts were headed. My Nick?

 

She jumped from the bed and started pacing the room back and forward. Everything had changed so much in the past couple of weeks... From that very first kiss that still sent shivers running down her spine every time she thought about it, to the mind-blowing make up session on their kitchen table... And in the meanwhile, Nick had being struck with the death of his father. Jess had held his hand through the funeral, hoping to help his pain go away. She'd sang for him, her eyes never leaving his as she tried to make him see how much he meant to her. How special he was, and how lucky she felt to have him in his life. No words had been spoken between them in those weeks, but Jess knew, she knew he understood. And she knew he felt it too.

 

And now there they were, trying to figure out what exactly was going on between them. What did they want from each other?, she sighed. Thinking about the cards they'd written made her tremble. What did he want from her? Jess thought back to their passionate encounter after she'd admitted she wanted him. The mere thought of his lips and hands on her was enough to make her stomach flip, as a warm sensation spread over her body. Jess shivered and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Was that all he wanted from her? Staring at her door again, she found herself turning the doorknob before she knew it. _Fuck waiting._

 

* * *

 

Nick groaned into his pillow. Russell and his freaking cards, he thought. Everything was going so well... Shaking his head, Nick tried to clear his mind. He had planned the perfect date for her; he'd put on a fancy suit and made reservations for one of the best restaurants downtown. But still, it hadn't been enough. Her ex-boyfriend had shown up, triggering loads of questions between them and keeping him from ending the night the way he'd expected.

 

 _Ugh_. Nick sat up in his bed. _Damn it._ This is not how it was supposed to be. From that very first kiss, the only thing he'd regretted was not doing it sooner. Before Sam, hell, even before Russell. But what he didn't know then was that she wanted him. God, she wanted him too. His mind went back just a little over two weeks ago, when he had sat her on the table and kissed her with everything he had. He had been so close to taking her right there and then, crossing every line they had left. If it wasn't for the broken fish tank... Nick shivered.

 

And then he felt a slight pain to his chest as he remembered Walt. His sudden death had brought his family together again. Only this time, she'd been there with him. For him. Nick felt his chest swelling with gratitude towards her, and he ran his hand over his face. She wants me and I want her, why does it have to be so hard?, he thought. Staring at his door, he snorted. _Fuck it._

 

He stood up just to hear a knock on his door. Freezing, he widened his eyes as he saw her entering his room barefoot. His eyes met hers and he let out a breath that mirrored her own.

 

_God, she's so beautiful._

 

_God, he's perfect._

 

Without a word, she walked up to him and threw her arms around his neck, crashing their lips together and making him stumble back lightly. His knees gave him away as he fell onto his bed, pulling her on top of him. He looked at her questioningly, but she leaned forward and kissed him again, her legs on each side of his body. He immediately pressed her to him, opening his mouth to her eager tongue and groaning as her hands pulled on his hair. Running his hands down her body, he grabbed her ass and squeezed, eliciting a moan that was muffled against his mouth. Unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it past his shoulders, she threw it on the floor and gasped loudly when he rolled her onto her back. He started kissing her neck as she rocked her body up and into him, her moans and gasps driving him wild with need. He got rid of her shirt and fixed his eyes on her lacy pink bra, her chest moving up and down due to her ragged breathing. He nipped at the soft skin of her breasts, her own hand quickly unsnapping the garment and throwing it across the room. He latched his mouth on her breast and sucked, and she cried out his name in pleasure. Somehow, the loud noise brought him back to his senses and he let go of her.

 

"Why'd you stop?", she breathed, unaware of his expression, her voice pure sex. _Jesus._

 

Her hand grabbed hold of his head and she forced it down on her mouth. He lost himself on the kiss before breaking away again.

 

"Jess, wait...", he mumbled, trying to stop her from reaching lower.

 

"What?", she asked, dropping her hands from his back. "What's wrong?"

 

She was staring up at him, naked from the waist up as she rested on her elbows. Nick gulped audibly and forced his eyes up to her face.

 

"Jess, what... What are we doing?"

 

She lifted her eyebrows, clearly amused. "I mean...", he continued. "What is this? One moment we're arguing and now we're..." Placing her finger on his lips, she stopped his mumbling. He closed his eyes at the gesture, knowing that she understood.

 

Jess pushed him back lightly so she could sit straight in the bed. Smiling, she caressed his cheek as he lingered into her touch. "Nick... I want this", she whispered.

 

"I want it too", he added quickly.

 

"I just need some..."

 

"I know", he said. "Jess, I don't want to mess this up. I need to know how you feel, I need to know you're not going to regret this in the morning or..."

 

"What?", she said, almost horrified. "Why would you say that?"

 

"Because, Jess! That's my thing! I don't think, I just act!"

 

"Nick...", Jess took his hand. "Listen to me. I want this", she repeated.

 

"I know, Jess...", he interrupted her, sighing.

 

"You are not listening to me", she said. "Nick, I want this. All of it, and I want it with you."

 

He stared at her intensely for a few seconds, his heart beating like crazy. "But I need to know how you feel, Nick", she threw his words back at him. "Ever since that kiss, I've been wondering what you want, what you feel..."

 

He grabbed her arm and yanked her to him, crashing her lips against his and silencing her. "I want everything, Jess. Everything", he said. Smiling as her arms went around his neck, he gently pushed her to lay back on the bed. Positioning himself between her legs, he got rid of his belt and threw it on the floor dramatically, which made her chuckle. "I want this...", he kissed her shoulder blades and she gasped, closing her eyes. "This...", he continued, tracing down her chest as she arched her back. "This...", he placed a trail of wet kisses on her stomach. Moving back up, he waited for her to open her eyes. Leaning forward, he pressed their lips together in the slowest but most meaningful kiss they'd shared. "And this", he whispered, resting their foreheads together. A few seconds passed as they stood still, breathing each other in.

 

"Nick?"

 

"Mmmh?"

 

"Can you get me naked now?"

 

He chuckled loudly. "What happened to no sex on the first date, miss Day?", he teased, as he saw her hands unsnapping her own pants.

 

"I think we're past that formality", she laughed, watching him remove her jeans and throw them away carelessly. "Where did you get this suit?", she muttered, fighting to push his pants down his legs.

 

"Schmidt", he said, smiling as she scrunched up her nose in disgust.

 

They fumbled to get rid of their underwear and got under the covers, their lips glued together and moans filling the room. Her legs went around his waist as she arched her body up. His arm shot to his nightstand and he blindly pulled out a condom. His hand disappeared between their bodies as he managed to roll it down his length.

 

"Nick, please, I need..."

 

"What?", he teased, "What do you need?"

 

"Oh, God!", she gasped as he bit her neck. "You, Nick. I need you!"

 

He pushed himself inside her body as soon as the words left her mouth, kissing her fiercely and groaning as he felt her around him.

 

" _Fuck_ ", he cursed. She felt so tight that he actually feared he could hurt her, and when she moaned loudly he had to ask. "Am I hurting you?"

 

"No", she answered, and rested her head back against his pillow. His hand gripped her hip and he lifted her body, trying to get even closer. Moving slowly, he gave her time to adjust to him.

 

"Nick...", she tried. "You can move, it's OK."

 

He nodded his head and increased his pace, delighted to hear her crying out his name. Nick felt her nail digging in his back, and he was pretty sure it was going to leave a mark. Burying his face in her neck, he started thrusting harder and faster, her moans encouraging his movements. His hand went around her waist and he lifted her body, changing their angle so he could thrust deeper.

 

"Nick!", she screamed, every nerve on her body running wild. "Yes!"

 

"Fuck, Jess!", he groaned when he felt her teeth grazing his earlobe.

 

It wasn't long before he felt her starting to shatter around him, but he didn't slow his pace, determined to give her as much pleasure as possible. He felt her hand pulling on his hair and lifted his head to meet her eyes, now a darker shade of blue as her climax ripped through her. Looking down at her, he felt his stomach flip at the sight. And that sight was his undoing, as he quickly followed her into release. He rested his weight on his forearms, and she moved her head to the side so she could press a kiss to his shoulder.

 

"Oh my God, Jess", he mumbled , rolling around so she could rest on top of him. "Oh, boy!"

 

"Are you OK?", she muttered, propping her trembling body up on his chest and staring at him.

 

"I think that's supposed to be my line", he chuckled, and she joined him. "But yeah. Never better."

 

"Me too", she giggled. Moving slowly, he grabbed a tissue and wrapped up the used condom, throwing it all into the trash can without leaving the bed. Falling back down, he smiled at Jess and brought her closer to him.

 

Snuggling against him, Jess kicked the sheets aside and placed her leg between his, sighing softly. Their breathing was returning to normal, and she was now tracing circles with her finger on his lower stomach, her eyes closed. Watching her face, he knew something was up.

 

"What is it, Jess?"

 

"Hmmm?", she lifted her eyes.

 

"I can hear you thinking."

 

"I was just thinking about the cards", she said.

 

"Oh."

 

"It's alright, Nick. We're over that now."

 

"Liar", he chuckled. "You want to know what I wrote!"

 

"What?", she exclaimed. When he kept laughing, she smiled. "So what? I'm curious."

 

"Oh, I know", he smiled.

 

"I wrote our names", she blurted out.

 

"What?"

 

"I... All I knew for sure was that I wanted us to be... _us_ ", she blushed at her own words. "And then I freaked out and wrote 'Us'. Does that make sense? It doesn't. God, it sounds awful. Why would I write that?"

 

"Fate", he said.

 

"What?"

 

He shrugged. "I wrote 'fate'. I knew what I wanted it to be, but not how it would turn out to be. I could only hope, you know?"

 

Jess felt her eyes clouding. "Nick, that's..."

 

"Hey, don't do that", he said, kissing the tear that was cascading down her cheek. "It was just a stupid card. Don't let that ruin the outcome", he smiled, framing her face in his hands.

 

"You are amazing, Nick", she whispered. "And I'm sorry."

 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Jess."

 

Pulling her body on top of him, he kissed her. "But I still have the night to make it up to you. In any way you want", she smiled at the face he made.

 

"Don't even think one night is going to be enough", he grinned. "I just realized I'm really mad at you."

 

"Then I better start showing you just how sorry I am", she whispered against his lips, closing the gap between them.


	7. Winston's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Schmidt and Elizabeth hadn't interrupted Nick and Jess' romantic rooftop dinner/breakfast at the end of Winston's Birthday?

**WINSTON'S BIRTHDAY**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"This is the breakfast I was going to give you this morning."_

 

Jess felt the smile creeping on her face as she approached him slowly. Coming closer, she lifted herself up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, the smell of his Old Spice surrounding them as she carefully held onto his shoulders. She broke away and smiled at him, her eyes never leaving his.

 

"Thank you", she whispered, eyeing the food. "It looks delicious."

 

"Well...", Nick scrunched up his nose and she chuckled. "At least it's edible", he said, joining her laughter. Pulling the chair back, he waited for her to sit and then moved his chair closer. "God, I'm so hungry!", Jess exclaimed. Watching her forking the scrambled eggs hungrily and stuffing her mouth, he smiled. She met his stare and smiled back at him, clinking their glasses of orange juice together. They ate in comfortable silence, enjoying the light of the stars and the peaceful setting around them. Lost in their own thoughts, none of them realised they were holding hands across the table and staring at each other. Blinking rapidly, Jess smiled.

 

"Hey, Nick?", she put her fork down and leaned forward. "I hope you didn't take my father seriously. You know, back at the loft?"

 

Oh, he knew. And it terrified him to think that it could be in the least true. Nodding his head, Nick kept his mouth shut. Bob's words had been haunting him ever since he'd heard them, and had somehow managed to kill his for once excellent mood and leave him wondering if Jess felt the same way.

 

"He has no idea what he's talking about. He likes to do that kind of stuff, it's his thing. He's been doing it for years now, so just...", she sighed. "I want you to know I don't think that of you. I know none of it is true, I don't care what my father says ", she said vehemently. She knew her dad was trying to protect her because he wanted what he thought was best for her. But she also knew she already had that. I need him to know I already have it.

 

Her eyes were sparkling in the dim light of the rooftop, and Nick felt some relief at her words. But her Bob's killing stare and disapproving looks were still imprinted in his memory. _What if he is right?_ Nick shivered. _What if I'm not right for her?_ Almost as if she'd heard his thoughts, she stood up and extended her hand in his direction. Standing up, he laced their fingers together and followed her steps around the rooftop. They stopped as they reached the ledge, and Jess let out a sigh. Her eyes fixed on the city lights, she turned around lightly so she could rest her head on his shoulder while still looking at the characteristic buildings she'd grown to love. Nick rested his cheek on the top of her head, and felt her body swaying slightly against his. Tightening his grip around her waist, he pressed a kiss to her hair and allowed himself to close his eyes. They just stood like that for a while, listening to the distant noises coming from the city.

 

Pulling back lightly, Nick waited for Jess to lift her head from his shoulder. Staring into his eyes, she leaned forward and captured his lips between hers, his hands roaming over her back. When they broke apart, Nick rested their foreheads together. _So here it goes._

 

"Jess?"

 

"Mmmmhhh?"

 

"I, uh... About last night...", he started. She opened her eyes wide, and her smile encouraged him to go on. "I mean, it was real fun, right?"

 

"Yeah", she chuckled, remembering how she'd woken up to the exact same words. Smiling at her, he placed a strand of hair behind her ear and rubbed her cheek gently. "It was amazing", she concluded. "We're pretty good at it, Miller."

 

Chuckling at her goofiness, he felt himself starting to relax. He still had his arms around her waist, and her hands were pressed flat against his chest. And she could read everything on his face.

 

"Nick... Stop it."

 

"Stop what?", he asked, a confused look plastered on his face.

 

"Stop thinking about it. We're doing this, alright?", she pressed her hands on his chest. "We're doing this", she repeated, almost to herself. "I don't care about my father, or the guys... Nick, I just...", she breathed. "I just want you", she said, her eyes focusing on his chest. He felt his stomach turn at her words and his heart start to beat like crazy against her hands, and he was sure she could feel it.

 

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers and forced her mouth open, groaning when her hands grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Her body melted against his, and he deepened the kiss, their pulses racing. When they had to come up for air, Nick smiled as he saw the faint blush that had spread across her cheeks. "Wow", he whispered, resting his lips on her forehead and breathing slowly. Pulling back to look at her, he cupped her face in his hands. "Jess... I... Are you sure you want this?"

 

Before she had a chance to speak up, he shook his head. "I mean all of it. I want it all, Jess. I tried to tell you last night, but...", he couldn't hold back a grin. Smiling at him, she nodded her head. "God, yes, Nick. I'm sure." Breaking out into laughter, she threw her arms around his neck. "I can't believe we're...", she interrupted herself and just launched her mouth onto his. He stumbled back, surprised by the strength of her kiss, and wrapped his arms around her, steading himself. She pulled back and traced his swollen lips with her finger, as he caressed her cheek.

 

"I'm so tired", she chuckled. "Can we just go home?", she begged, suppressing a yawn.

 

"Yeah", he said, dropping his arms from her body. "I'll clean all of this tomorrow."

 

She took her hand in his and started to walk them towards the door. They stopped when they reached the elevator, and Jess pressed the button. Looking down at their joined hands, he followed her inside the elevator. "We should try to be quiet. I don't want to wake your dad."

 

Rolling her eyes at him, she grinned. "Uhm... You do realise we're spending the night together, right?"

 

"Jess..."

 

"Don't start, Nick", she interrupted. "Straight up sleeping, no funny business. At least until morning", she added, a smirk on her face.

 

"But what if..."

 

"Nicholas Miller", she said, just as the doors started to open. Walking up to their door, she turned to look at him. "We're going to bed now. We're going to sleep next to each other, and we're waking up together. And maybe we'll even go at it again before we have to leave for the wedding."

 

"Oh God", he muttered. "You're gonna be the death of me, woman. Do you really expect me to sleep now?"

 

"That's up to you", she smiled. Pushing the door open, she walked inside the apartment and waited for him to react. When she saw him start to move, she headed for her bedroom, and he was quick to follow her and close the door behind them. Turning around, he saw she was already barefoot and had lost the pink robe. Gulping audibly, his feet dragged him in her direction without him even noticing. "You're so beautiful, Jess", he whispered, and she bit her lip. "Come on", he smiled. "Let's get some sleep. Maid of honor needs to rest", he added, kicking his shoes aside. They got under the covers and Jess rolled over to his side, sliding her arms around his waist and placing her head on the crook of his neck. Placing a soft kiss there, she smiled.

 

"Goodnight, Nick."

 

"Goodnight, Jess." His arm wrapped around her waist and he brought her closer to his body, as he finally closed his eyes and allowed sleep to overcome him.


	8. Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Jess and Nick had a moment together (and alone) before boarding back home in the Chicago episode?

**CHICAGO**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"I have your back. No matter what, no matter how stupid it gets. I'm gonna be there, and I'm gonna hold your hand."_

 

"To Walt!"

 

Two bottles clinked together in the middle of the night. Jess had sneaked out of her room, barefoot and in her sleepwear, and had managed to get a hold of two beers before timidly knocking on his door. "Figured you might want some company", she'd whispered to his sleepy form, smiling when he wordlessly stepped back to let her in. Turning around to face him, she'd offered him a beer and encouraged him to make the toast he hadn't been able to make after the funeral. He'd nodded his head and sat down on the bed, waiting for her to join him. Raising his bottle, he'd looked into her eyes and they'd both taken a long sip of beer, listening to the silent house before he'd smiled teasingly at her.

 

"What?"

 

"Beer, Day? At midnight?"

 

She blushed furiously, but grinned back at him. "I didn't find anything stronger", she smiled. Standing up, she grabbed his beer and placed both their bottles down on his bedside table. She turned around and stepped in between his open legs, noticing the way his eyes widened as he looked at her.

 

"Nick... Are you OK?", she asked, keeping her voice down and staring at him.

 

He sighed and rubbed his scruff, breathing deeply. "Yeah, Jess. I will be."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?", she tried, placing her hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. "You can tell me anything. I know you have been..."

 

"It's fine, Jess", he interrupted, a little more bitterly than expected. He immediately regretted it as he saw her flinch and drop her hand from his shoulder. But when she tried to move away from him, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm. "Wait! Don't...", he stood up, his eyes levelling with hers. "Don't go, please." She looked at him briefly and nodded her head, following him back to the bed. She folded her legs under her body and turned to look at him, already resting his back against the headboard. "It was amazing. What you did today, Jess...", he sighed. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at him. "Of course, Nick. That's what I'm here for."

 

Taking his hand in between hers, she stroked it gently, running her hand over his knuckles. He lifted his other hand to her face and ran his fingertips against her cheek, watching her eyes close briefly as she nuzzled into his caress. Tilting her head to the side, she rested her lips against the back of his hand. "It'll be OK, Nick", she whispered. Meeting his gaze, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. The sudden action surprised him, but before he knew it, his lips had already moulded to hers, his tongue invading her mouth as he groaned possessively. She threw her arms over his neck and dragged him closer, his hands going around her waist and pulling her to him. His strong grip on her intensified when she ran her hand through his hair, and he sucked her lower lip hungrily. The moan that escaped her throat snapped her out of trance, and placing her hands on his chest, she pushed him back.

 

"This is not right", she breathed, trying desperately not to throw herself at him again when she saw his eyes flashing with hurt. "Nick, you just lost your father. This is not... I wanted to comfort you, to be here for you. This is not what you need right now..."

 

He held his finger up against her lips and silenced her. "No, Jess. That's where you are wrong. This is exactly what I need."

 

Her stomach flipped at his words. "But..."

 

The words died in her throat as he leaned forward again and captured her lips in a hard and passionate kiss. She offered no resistance, closing her eyes and letting him lead. He finally broke apart, but rested his forehead against hers and stared right into her eyes. Sighing, he sat back straight, and smiled when she laced their fingers together and placed their joined hands in her lap. No words were spoken as they just looked at each other, the quiet and darkened room surrounding them. "Stay here tonight", he said.

 

She pushed back from him so she could stare into his eyes. "I don't want to...", he motioned to his bed. "Stay with me, Jess", he pleaded. His heart beating against his chest, he held his breath and waited for her answer. Unable to contain the smile that crept into his face as he saw her nod her head, he got up from the bed and held his hand out to her, helping her to her feet. "Do, uhm.. Do you prefer right or left side?", he asked.

 

Smiling at him, she pushed him back to lie on the middle of the bed. "Neither." She lied next to him, and rolled over to his body. She propped herself up on his chest and kissed him slowly, leaving them both breathless before breaking away and snuggling into his body. Her arms going around his waist and her leg sneaking between his, she buried her face in his neck. "Like this", she murmured, and he couldn't keep his heart from flipping and beating. He pressed her to him and rested his hand on the curve of her waist, moulding his body to hers and pressing a light kiss to the top of her head. And for the first time since they'd gotten to Chicago, he slept through the night. Knowing that she was there, feeling her whole being that close to him, somehow made his pain less intense.

 

The first thing he saw when he woke up, their bodies tangled together, were her big blue eyes already staring back at him. And he knew.

 

_Everything's going to be alright._


	9. Quick Hardening Caulk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... the fish tank hadn't broken at the end of Quick Hardening Caulk?

**QUICK HARDENING CAULK**

 

**RATING: M**

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"Shut up and take off your clothes right now. I mean it, take off your clothes!"_

 

"Ugh! You're just chaotic! Everywhere you go!", she screamed, her fingers already unsnapping her shirt open.

 

"Stop talking!", he roared angrily, approaching her. His face was red and his eyes had darkened to almost black. She swallowed, but didn't back down. Stopping her movements she stared at him, his angry outburst and yelling making it hard for her to focus on anything rather than his handsome face, now contorted with fury. Her eyes went to his lips, and she saw a grin splattering across his features. Lifting her gaze to his eyes, she raised her chin defiantly and shot him a deadly glare.

 

"Don't tell me what to do!", she yelled.

 

Wriggling out of her shirt, she dropped it to the floor. His reply died on his lips and his eyes widened at the sight of her bra-covered chest, and Jess placed her hands on her hips. Fuck, she's beautiful. Nick felt his brain struggling to form a coherent sentence as he just looked at her, his arms on either side of his body and his mouth slightly open in a silent gasp. Her breasts were encased in a pink lacy bra, soft and perfectly-shaped against the delicate material. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and his eyes flashed with lust and want. He could still feel his breathing uneven, and slowly lifted his gaze back to her face. Her eyes were bigger and a darker shade of blue, a light pink blush covering her cheeks and neck.

 

"Are you going to keep staring or what?", she said, a slight teasing to her voice.

 

And he snapped.

 

Groaning, he took a step forward and grabbed her by her hair, forcing her lips open with his tongue as his hands tangled in her now messy locks. She moaned and threw herself at him, knocking him off his balance and pushing him back until his legs hit the table. He hissed and slid his hands down her back, reaching for her legs and lifting her in his arms before laying her on the hard surface. He decided to listen to the voice in his head telling him that it was probably wiser to take it to the bedroom, and turned around with her in his arms. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and let him carry her through the hallway and into his bedroom, where he threw her down on the bed. Hovering over her body, Nick reached for her shorts, his hands disappearing from view as he managed to get rid of her tights and shorts in one swift move. Jess pushed him back and manoeuvred herself above him, straddling his lap as he sat up and encircled her waist.

 

Grabbing a handful of hair, he yanked her head back and latched his mouth to her neck, sucking greedily until he heard he felt her moan vibrate against his lips. He snaked his hand to her back, unclasping her bra, and watched the straps sliding down her arms. She removed the garment and threw it over her shoulders, grinning when she saw his eyes widen at the sight of her bare breasts. His eyes travelled up her body and he met her cocky grin. Unable to stop himself, he reached for her and squeezed her breasts together in his hands, feeling the hardened nipples against his palms. Jess threw her head back at his action, but his soft touch was not enough. Grinding her panty-covered core against him, she grunted and placed her hands on his chest.

 

"Harder, Nick", she panted.

 

Ignoring her plea, he rolled her on her back and continued his exploration of her body. "Shut up", he whispered in her ear. Capturing her lobe between his teeth, he nibbled at the skin there and she let out a loud gasp. His hands were everywhere all at once, and Jess could do nothing to keep the moans from escaping her lips. There was something incredibly erotic about being naked under his fully clothed body, but she felt the need to feel his skin on hers. Tugging at his shirt, she lifted it past his chest and he yanked it from his body, planting his arms on each side of her body as he pinned her to the mattress. Kissing and licking down her neck, he took her breast in his mouth and sucked, groaning when he felt her hips buckle against his already prominent erection. She forced his head up to meet her lips and kissed him urgently, nibbling at his lips and drawing a groan from him. "Jess, wait...", he said, stopping the hand that was rapidly sneaking down his body and trying to reach his pants.

 

"No", she interrupted. "Fuck waiting. I want it now."

 

He forcefully grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, stilling her movements. "I said wait", he repeated, suppressing a moan when she started rubbing herself against him. What had gotten into them? Looking down at the writhing woman under him, he felt a lump forming in his throat. This is Jess, for goodness sake. She deserved more than a quick fuck. He let go of her hands and stopped moving, and she looked up at him. "What are...", she started, confused. But the look on his eyes told her that something had changed within the last few seconds. She felt her stomach flip under his warm and intense stare, and her previous anger seemed to evaporate, only to be replaced with concern. "Nick?", she tried, her voice soft and barely above a whisper. "What's wrong?"

 

He stared at her lips, swollen from their kisses, before he focused on her eyes. Huge and blue. So damn beautiful it hurts, he thought. His heart skipped a beat, but he didn't move. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, unable to stop himself. But this kiss was different; it was slow and soft, and as he lifted his hand to her cheek, she shivered. "Jess...", he whispered when they broke away. Resting their foreheads together, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to breathe her in. When he opened them again, she was already looking at him. "I don't...", he struggled. Breathing deeply, he sighed.

 

_"Not like this."_

 

"What do you me...", she started, interrupting herself when his words registered. She gasped and swallowed the burning sensation in her throat. "Nick...", she breathed. Her mind went back a few weeks and she felt the same wave of desire rushing through her body. Only this time, it was her kissing him. Her arms went around his neck and she pulled him closer, almost sobbing when she felt him responding to her movements. "Oh, God, Nick. I want you. I want you so much", she whimpered into his mouth. His hands went under her waist and he lifted her body up into the bed.

 

"Please, Nick. I need you", she said, not caring if she sounded desperate. He nodded his head and moved away from her body to finally, finally, remove his pants and underwear. He grabbed a condom from his nightstand and tore the package open, and she quickly reached for him again. Rolling onto his stomach, he settled between her legs and hooked his fingers in her panties, drawing them off her body. He kissed her lightly and waited until she opened eyes she hadn't realised she'd closed.

 

"Are you sure?", he asked quietly. "You know there's no going back from here, Jess. This changes everything", he said. They stood silent until she lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "I know, Nick", she nodded her head. "But I want it to change. I'm tired to pretend nothing's different between us. I'm tired of it all, Nick. I just want you", she whispered the last part and stared into his eyes. He positioned himself at her entrance, and taking her hands in his, he laced their fingers together and placed them above her head. She whimpered as he felt him start to push inside her body, but he didn't stop until he was buried to the hilt. Then, he stilled and gave her time to adjust to his size while kissing her again.

 

"You OK?", he breathed. She nodded her head and tried to pull his body even closer to her. He got the message and started moving slowly, watching her face contort in pleasure as her lips gaped open. She gave a sharp intake of breath when his mouth found the exact spot below her ear that made her eyes roll back in her head. "Oh, fuck", he cursed. "You feel amazing."

 

He let go of her wrists and slid his hands down her body to lift her hips from the bed, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. The movement caused him to slide deeper into her, and he was rewarded with a moan from her that matched his own animalistic groan. Her back arched with each thrust, and her breasts pressed against his chest. She could already feel her stomach burning with the need for release, and apparently he could feel it too, as his hand lost the grip on her hip and started rubbing the spot where their bodies were joined. "Come on, Jess. I want to watch you", he grunted, while she cried out his name and threw her head back. Nick sped up his thrusts, knowing that he was close too but no way in hell was he finishing before her.

 

"Nick...I...", she panted. "Oh, God!"

 

He groaned, his movements erratic and pressing her harder into the mattress. He took her lip between his teeth and sucked, almost sobbing with relief when he felt her starting to clench around him. "Eyes open", he said, and her blue orbs fluttered open and locked with his. She cried out one more time and came undone under him, moaning his name over and over as he kept moving inside her. Her orgasm seemed to keep going, and he watched her body convulsing around him while she rode it out. She let herself fall back on the bed, her body limp and breathless, and gave him a bright smile that was his undoing. Placing his arms on either side of her head, he grunted as he felt her legs tightening around his waist and pulling him deeper inside her. She captured his lips between hers and he let go, his moans swallowed by her kisses as he collapsed above her, spent and panting.

 

He nuzzled her neck with his nose, pressing light kisses at the skin there before he slipped out of her body and rolled into his back. Staring at the ceiling, they both tried to calm their breathings. Jess turned her head to look at him and smiled when he faced her. Rolling over to him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head in his chest, his fingers tracing the curve of her back and their legs tangling together. She sighed contently and smiled against his chest when she felt him press a kiss to her hair.

 

"Jess?", he whispered.

 

"Mmmmh?"

 

_"I meant something like that."_


	10. Fluffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Nick and Jess' argument in Fluffer went a little different?

**FLUFFER**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

 

_"I can barely live with it now!"_

 

...

 

"But you need me to have sex."

 

"Oh", Jess said, letting out a humourless laugh following his blunt statement. She took a challenging step forward, hands on her hips. "Is that what you think?" He nodded his head, his eyes burning into hers as he swallowed. "Well, I'm calling Sam, and we're gonna go on a date. We'll talk our faces off!"

 

A mocking grin splattered across his face, and she clenched her hands. She eyed him up and down and lowered her voice. "And you know what? When we're done with the date, I'll bring him back here so he can get all the rewards you don't want. As many times as he wants them."

 

She didn't know what had possessed her to say that, but the way his face darkened boosted her self confidence. She was playing with fire and she knew it. _She liked it._

 

"Well, I hope he enjoys them", Nick said, unwilling to let her win. "That is, if he actually agrees to go through a date."

 

"What? What do you mean?", Jess frowned.

 

"Oh, come on, Jess. The only thing that guy wants is sex. You said it yourself, right? He's not looking for a deeper connection", he mocked her words. "Do you really think he'll just switch from casual sex to actual dating just like that?"

 

"Yes, I do! Sam is a great, incredible man, and maybe he's just too shy to take the first step!", she yelled at him, throwing her hands up in the air. "It's just not that big of a deal, Nick! I'll just call him, and we'll have dinner together. We can do that, you know?"

 

"Do you really believe that?", he chuckled, increasing her annoyance. "Let me break it down for you. He already got the girl and the rewards without having to do anything. It just wouldn't make any sense to start going on dates now, you know? It'd be a waste of time", he stated, not thinking of how it sounded. But when he saw her eyes flashing with hurt, it was already too late to take it back. _Oh, shit._

 

"That's what you think?", she said, her voice strained. "That's why you agreed to go out to dinner with me? Out of pity?", she choked out, her eyes glistening. She lowered her gaze to the floor, hurt and sadness written all over her face.

 

He felt a punch to his stomach and took a step forward. "No, Jess. That's not what I meant to say." He came to stand in front of her and waited for her lift her head. It sometimes amazed him how they could go from angry fighting to feeling like time had stopped as they just stared into each other's eyes. And just like that, they were back into the spell. "Why did you go out with me, Nick?", she breathed. _Boyfriend without the rewards_. Her eyes bore into his and he knew he was lost.

 

"I... Because I wanted to, Jess", he answered honestly. "I thought I was just being a good friend, but..."

 

"But what, Nick?", she pressed. She kept staring at him, a confused look on her face.

 

"But it's... That's not enough for me, Jess", he admitted. He was aware that he was stepping into dangerous, no-going-back territory. But to hell with it. "I want more. I need more."

 

Her eyes flew up to his and her mouth opened slightly, and Nick could hear her sharp intake of breath. "But you just said..."

 

"I know what I said", he muttered. Taking another step forward, he fought the urge to reach out to her. "Truth is, Jess... I don't want you to go out with him", he stated. Staring at her intensely, he took a deep breath. "I don't want you to go out with anyone but me."

 

She stood still, her eyes widening in absolute shock and her ears buzzing. Nick clenched his hands at his sides, waiting for her to speak. But she seemed to be frozen in place while staring at him.

 

"Say something", he pleaded, breaking the silence. His words trembled as he spoke up, and he could feel his heart on the verge of jumping out of his chest.

 

"Why didn't you say anything?", she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

"Because, Jess!", he snapped. "I was enjoying it, OK? I like taking you out to dinner, being able to talk to you about anything and everything at the same time! But I just can't keep doing it anymore. I can't watch you going home with Sam, and then..."

 

"Don't... Forget about Sam", she interrupted. Without tearing her gaze away, she took a step forward that left her right in front of him. "What do you want, Nick?"

 

His gaze travelled down her face and fixed on her lips, before he slowly raised his eyes up to meet hers. She could see the wheels in his head turning, and tried to stop her heart from beating like crazy under his intense stare. Bitting down on her lip, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes expectantly, his lack of words making her frown.

 

"Nick?"

 

Hearing his name on her lips seemed to snap him out of his trance, and his eyes met hers. He reached for her waist and pulled her flush against him, his face so close that she could feel his breathing on her skin. "This", he whispered. He might not be able to tell her, but he was right about to show her. Pressing his lips against hers, he felt his heart pound harder as she kissed him back. His hands grasped her hips and she threw her arms around his neck, sighing as he continued to kiss her. Nick cupped the back of her neck and tilted her head to the side, his fingers tangling in her soft curls and his other hand tightening its grip on her hip. When the need for air became too much, Nick tore his lips away from hers and stared at her flushed face. Pressing their foreheads together, he waited for her eyes to open and meet his.

 

Smiling up at him, she placed her hands on either side of his face and pressed her lips to his, her action surprising him.

 

When they broke apart, he grabbed her hands in his and squeezed lightly. "Look, Jess...", he started. "You know I'm not good with words", he said, and she smiled at him. His hand went up to her cheek and he caressed it lightly, smiling when he saw her leaning into his touch. "And I know I have no right to say this, but...", he dropped his hand from her face and met her eyes.

 

"It's me. I'm the one you should go out with. I'm the one who will take you out to dinner just because I want to. I'm the one who wants to be there with you, anytime you need me and no matter why. Even when you don't know you need me. And I want it, Jess. I want you to need me, only me", he said. "Forget about Sam. He doesn't care about you the way I do, the way I always have. I'm sorry I didn’t' tell you before, but I just...", he was rambling now. "I, uh, you can stop me at any time, you now? Because I..." The words died on his lips as her mouth crashed on his, and he was quick to press her flush against him, causing a ripple of excitement to rush through their bodies. Her head felt dizzy and her legs trembled like they would give away any minute. Sighing, she rested her weight on his chest, and tearing her lips away from his, she buried her face in his shoulder. She nuzzled his neck and pressed a soft kiss to the skin there, and he rested his cheek on her head. Suddenly, her body started shaking with laughter, and he frowned.

 

"What?"

 

"It's just...", she lifted her head to look at him. "God, Miller! You are just so full of surprises!", she chuckled, and his frown relaxed.

 

Smiling at her, he shrugged. "Well, it's nice to see you're not mad."

 

"What do you mean?". Now it was her time to frown.

 

"I, uh... I guess this is not the ideal time to be saying all of this, you know? With you seeing Sam and all?"

 

"Nuh-huh", she shook her head. "Nick, would you have told me any other way?" Poking his chest with her finger, she chuckled. "I don't think so!"

 

"Hey!", he complained. "I would have, Jess. Eventually", he stated, his face serious. "You know this is not,... This is not a whim or anything like that, Jess."

 

"I know", she smiled. "I'm glad it's not", she said, kissing him again until they were both breathless.

 

"So, uh... Is this your way of telling me you choose me over Sam?", he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

 

"Yes, you dummy", she chuckled, and he grinned.

 

"I like you a lot, Jess. I really like you."

 

Smiling again, she rested their foreheads together and closed her eyes. She felt his arms wrapping around her strongly, and when he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, she sighed. "I like you too."

 

His smile reflected what his heart already knew.

 

And he kissed her.


	11. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Birthday had gone a little different?

 

  
_"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."_

 

Sliding his arms down her body, he brought them to rest on her waist and leaned forward once again, capturing her lips with his softly. Her hands gripping his shirt, he felt her tears wetting his face as she kissed him and pulled back to look at her. Smiling, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and grazed her cheek with his fingertips.

 

"Nick...", Jess started, her lip quivering again. "I should have trusted you", she muttered, her hand flexing on his arm as she held onto him.

 

"It's alright, Jess. Don't worry about it. I know I'm not the most..."

 

"Stop", she interrupted, placing her finger against his lips. "That's not true, Nick. No one's ever treated me the way you do", she said, her voice full of emotion ."It's not just tonight... It's all the things you do everyday for me", she completed, wiping her remaining tears with the back of her hand.

 

"I would do anything for you, Jess", he said, thinking back at their first fight as a couple and how he'd said those same words to her while trying to open a bank account. "Anything", he repeated, his face growing serious.

 

"Nick, I...", she shook her head, a nervous chuckle escaping her lips. "This past months have been the best time of my life, and it's because of you", she said, and he tightened his grip on her hips and drew her body closer to him. Pressing his lips to her forehead, he smiled as he heard her sighing against his neck.

 

"For me too, Jess. I don't think I've ever been happier than now that you're with me. I didn't think it was possible to be this happy, actually", he smiled at her and she giggled lightly, the sound going straight to his heart. Bitting down on her lip, she held his warm gaze and slid her arms up to encircle his neck. Nick tilted his head to the side and captured her mouth with his, his hands roaming over her back as she melted into the kiss.

 

"Best birthday ever!", she sang, pointing at herself and wiggling her hips as Nick chuckled.

 

"You're crazy!", he laughed, and she joined him.

 

Grasping her hands in his, he held them loosely.

 

"We should head back, I guess?", she asked, motioning her head towards the door.

 

"Yeah, just one more thing", he said, tugging on her hands to stop her from moving. "I got something for you."

 

She lifted her eyebrows at him in expectation, her eyes widening when she saw him reach inside his pocked and pull out a blue box. He handed it to her and smiled when she opened it and gasped.

 

"Oh, Nick", she whispered, her eyes already watering again. "It's beautiful", she smiled, her fingers tracing the delicate chain. A small blue drop pendant dangled from the string, and Jess stared at it entranced.

 

"You like it?", he asked. "I saw it and I thought it'd be perfect for you."

 

"I love it", she flashed him one of the smiles that made him weak in the knees. "Help me put it on", she asked excitedly, pulling the silver necklace out and placing it down on his open palm. He chuckled at her enthusiasm and she clasped her hands together.

 

Walking to stand behind her, he pulled her hair to the side and clasped the necklace together, pressing a lingering warm kiss to her shoulder. She leaned her head back against his chest and closed her eyes, his arms going around her to keep her close. A small sigh escaped her lips as she found one of his hands and laced their fingers together.

 

"I love you", he breathed into her neck.

 

He heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her tense under his touch. Closing his eyes, he tightened his grip on her arms, his heart beating faster after his honest confession. She freed herself from his arms slowly, her body turning around to face him. But when he looked at her face, he saw none of the emotions he feared.

 

"What?" she asked, her smile so big it looked like her face would split in two. Her eyes were bright and staring intensely at him, and Nick felt his heart swelling in his chest.

 

"I love you, Jess", he repeated, aware of the grin that was spreading across his own face. "I lo-..."

 

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, he felt her lips crashing against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tightly onto him. Her hands grasped his shirt tightly, and he was quick to let his arms snake around her small frame. His hands on her hips, he slowly walked them backwards until her back hit the wall next to the theatre room, his lips still chasing hers. She pressed herself closer and moaned, sending shivers down his spine. Aware that they were still in a public space, she reluctantly pulled back. Breaking away, she couldn't help it but to start laughing, her eyes shining brightly with happiness.

 

"Happy Birthday, Jess", he whispered once again, pressing his lips against her forehead.

 

The sound of someone clearing his throat made them both jump back, their eyes focusing on a young employee that looked bored and extremely annoyed at the same time.

 

"Excuse me, sir...you cannot do that here. This is a family place", he pointed his finger at them.

 

Stepping back from their embrace, Nick let his arms fall from her body, his ears red in embarrassment and his breath uneven. "Sorry, man", he muttered, holding his hands up and smiling when he saw the grin that was spreading across her face. "We're done, I swear", he said, faking annoyance at the look of distrust on the young kid's face. Shrugging, he turned around and started walking away from them, mumbling under his breath until he reached the popcorn stand, his eyes bearing into them from the distance.

 

Chuckling, Nick grabbed her hand in his and started walking them towards the door. "Come on, let's head back inside", he laughed, his hand reaching for the doorknob.

 

"Wait!", Jess exclaimed, stopping dead in her tracks and letting go of his hand. Turning around to face her, her eyes met his and they broke into smiles.

 

"What?", he asked, his heart crazily beating in anticipation of what he knew was about to come. When words left her mouth, he crashed his lips against hers, ignoring the angry yell that came from the popcorn stand as he kissed her to seal their words.

 

"I love you too, Nick."


	12. A Father's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... Jess and Nick's first kiss had taken place at the end of A Father's Love, as originally planned?

**A FATHER'S LOVE**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"Jess, people don't change. If someone's broken, they just stay broken."_

 

"You're not broken", Jess said, hopping off the stool and approaching him.

 

"I'm a little broken", he joked weakly, his eyes glued to hers as she came to stand in front of him.

 

Shaking her head, she cut him off. "No, you are not, Nick", she argued. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side. "You are not", she repeated, and he shrugged his shoulders at her words.

 

"You gotta admit, Jess, that I'm not exactly what you would call a healthy person", he stated as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't think I've ever been", he added, pressing his lips together and studying her face.

 

"Nick...", Jess started. Taking another step forward, she placed her hand on his arm and squeezed lightly, her eyes firmly fixed on his. He swallowed, unable to look away, and felt her hand coming to rest on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about your dad", she whispered, and he winced lightly before he tried to shrug if off.

 

"It's fine, Jess, really. I don't expect any other than that from him", he snorted, taking a step back and away from her touch and approaching the counters. "It's no big deal", he added, turning his back to her and reaching for a bowl. Rolling her eyes at the back of his head, Jess waited for him to face her again.

 

"No, you're not fine", she argued, sighing as she rested her elbows on the aisle between them. "Nick, you have to..."

 

"Jess, please, stop it", he interrupted, placing the bowl down with a thunk and pretending not to notice her flinching. "I don't want to talk about my father, OK?", he added, turning his back to her once again as he rummaged through the fridge, willing for her to change subjects. But when he turned around, holding an almost empty carton of milk, he was unexpectedly met with her frowning face dangerously close to his, hands on her hips.

 

"God, Miller! Why do you always do that?", she said, shoving her finger in his chest and making him take a step back and away from her.

 

"What?" he snapped, realising she had cornered him against the fridge. Tilting his head to the side, he tried to escape her closeness. But before he had a chance to sneak his body away from her, she took another step forward.

 

"Why do you always run away from your feelings?", she buffed at him. "It drives me insane!", she continued, throwing her hands up and raising her voice in frustration.

 

"Jess...", he started, not wanting to argue with her. His eyes flicked to the side as he tried to trace an escape route towards the safety of his room.

 

"No", she said, and pointed her finger at him. "Don't even try it", she growled, already lifting her hand to his chest again. Dropping the milk to the floor, he grabbed her wrist and reached for her other hand, snatching them away from his body. Keeping a tight grip on her, he ignored her poor attempts at freeing herself from his grasp, as she wriggled her body away from his tight grip. He moved them away from the mess on the floor, but didn't release her hands. "Why do you care so much?", he asked, starting to lose his temper. "What's the matter with you?", he barked, when she finally managed to push him away.

 

"Me?", she let out a humourless laugh.

 

"Yeah, you!", he said, feeling the anger boiling inside him at her sudden outburst. "One minute you're all nice and calm and the next you're going all mad on me!" he stated, exasperated by the soft snort that escaped her throat. "Why are you trying to pick up a fight?"

 

"Forget it, Nick", she replied, shaking her head. "You just don't get it", she finished, just as her body began to turn away from him.

 

"Oh, no you don't!", he said, grabbing her hand and yanking her back next to him. Her eyes fixed on him as she let out a little gasp of surprise at his action. "You wanted to talk, let's talk", he retorted, releasing her and planting his hands on his hips.

 

"Fine!", she yelled, not caring if their roommates were sleeping. "Then talk!"

 

Her hands on her hips, she eyed him angrily and watched him struggle with himself. No words coming out of his mouth, she gave a sarcastic snort. "God, you're just unbelievable, Nick! Why are you always so scared of everything?", she cried out. Ignoring the way his eyes had blackened as he looked at her, she kept talking. "What is wrong with you? Just do something for once in your life!", she shouted, feeling her face hot with frustration.

 

_To hell with it._

 

Her words still resonating in his ears, he yanked her to him and crashed his lips against hers, his hands finding their way to her hips as he pressed her to him. Swallowing her gasp of surprise, his tongue forced her lips open and dipped into her mouth, one of his hands sliding up her back to tangle in her hair. Tilting her head to the side, she snapped out of her initial shock and threw her arms around his neck, allowing her body to press into his. Relief washed through him at her acceptance, and he groaned as their mouths moved against each other. His hands never leaving her body, he pushed her back until her hips hit the counter behind her, their lips still fused together. When he finally tore his lips away from hers, his eyes focused on her still closed lids and he took in her flushed cheeks and laboured breathing. Jess met his gaze and felt him lean forward again as he captured her lips in a tender caress before he rested their foreheads together.

 

Dropping his hands from her body, he took a small step back and watched her struggling to catch her breath, his heart beating fast and blood pounding in his ears. Unable to stop himself, Nick raised his hand to her face and traced her flushed cheek as she leaned into his touch, her lips parting and gently grazing his knuckles. Placing a strand of hair behind her ear, his finger trailed down her face and he pushed her chin up and stared into her eyes, trying to decipher her expression.

 

"Jess...", he started. But before he had a chance to finish his sentence, her hands grabbed his shirt and she yanked him towards her, her mouth slamming down on his as her arms swung around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened their kiss, silencing her soft moan with a groan of his own. "Jess...", he muttered, unwillingly releasing her lips from his. Her arms still keeping him close, she brought her eyes up to meet his and felt an unexpected smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She chuckled lightly and he laughed with her, shaking his head as his hands refused to leave her hips.

 

"So that was unexpected!", she said in between laughs. The lack of awkwardness emboldened him, and he couldn't resist teasing her.

 

"Had to shut you up, you were driving me insane", he shrugged, the playful glint in his eyes telling her he was joking. Slapping his arm in mock offence, she rolled her eyes at him and tried to wriggle out of his embrace, but he tightened his grip on her.

 

"Listen, Jess,...", he started. "I...don't really know what to say here. No, wait, let me finish", he continued, when he saw her opening her mouth to interrupt him. "I don't like to express my feelings. You know that", he said, his eyes never leaving hers. "I know you just want to help me deal with this, and it... You... You know how much it means to me that you're always there for me, Jess", he paused. "But this whole thing with my dad...is just not worth us fighting over it."

 

"Nick, I..."

 

"Let me finish", he smiled, and she scrunched her nose in a laugh. "He was never there for us", he stated, his expression becoming serious. "I grew up without a father. And I will never forgive him for that. But he's still...", he sighed, and she rubbed his shoulder in understanding.

 

"He's still your father", Jess added softly. "And it's OK for you to be upset, Nick. You should be upset. And angry", she said, her hand leaving his arm and reaching for his chin, keeping his gaze fixed on hers. "I'm not asking you to speak up about how you feel about everything... But I want you to know you're not alone, Nick. You have me, and you have the guys. We're here for you", she finished, and he felt his heart swelling in his chest.

 

Nodding slowly, he held her close to him, no further words needed between them. Until...

 

"Sooo...", she started, pulling back from his arms and smiling brightly at him. "About the other thing...", she sang, a grin plastered to her face. "Where did that come from, Miller?", she teased, but he could hear the insecurity in her voice. His hands searched hers and he intertwined their fingers, knowing that she was watching his movements closely.

 

"I, uh,... I have a confession to make, Jess". It is now or never, he thought. Her eyes shining in expectation, she bit back her smile and willed for him to continue.

 

_He's going to..._

 

The sound of a door opening signalled they were no longer alone, as their roommate walked into the kitchen rubbing the sleep off his eyes. They jumped in surprise, taking a step back from each other as they stared at him. _Busted._

 

Schmidt's eyes widened as he eyed them and took in his surroundings, and he gave a loud gasp.

 

_"Nicholas Miller! How many times do I have to tell you to keep your paws off my six-dollar buttermilk, you philistine?"_


	13. The Last Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... the bathroom scene in The Last Wedding had taken a different turn?

**THE LAST WEDDING**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

_"Just be yourself, and if he's not into Jessica Day... then there's something wrong with him."_

 

Smiling up at him, Jess shook her head softly, his words still resonating in her head. _How does he always manage to say the perfect thing at the perfect time?_ , she wondered, as he playfully bumped his shoulder against hers. Leaning his weight against her for a moment, he rubbed her hand in a comforting gesture.

 

"You ready to get outta here?", he asked her, nodding his head towards the door. "You know how much I enjoy deep conversations in bathroom stalls, but I really think we should move this party outside", he added, smiling at her instant giggle. "No, really, let's get out", he said, moving to get up. Her hand reached out and grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him as he turned back to her.

 

"Wait, Nick", she said, pulling him back down next to her while trying not to fall off the limited surface. Sighing, he squeezed his eyes shut and let his head back, a soft groan escaping his lips. "Come on, Jess, seriously...", he started, opening his eyes and fixing his gaze on her. "What?"

 

"Do you... do you really mean all of that?", she asked, not missing the way his arm tensed slightly against hers as he straightened his posture.

 

"Of course I do, Jess. You know I would never lie to you", he said, before he grinned. "You know I can't lie to you", he corrected himself, trying to redirect the inevitable course of the conversation into safer waters. "Remember last time I tried? With the helmet and everything?", he asked, watching her eyes flash with a spark. "Although I do have to say, the no-kiss sex was actually real fun", he joked, wiggling his eyebrows as she chuckled and rolled her eyes at him.

 

"Yes, of course I remember", Jess nodded her head, refusing to let him distract her even though she knew he was trying to avoid the subject. "But, Nick..."

 

"You know what?", Nick interrupted, standing up yet again and turning to look at her. "Let's go get a drink! Forget about that pretentious excuse of a best man and let old Nick Miller join you for a drink!", he added, thrusting his open hand in her direction and failing miserably in his attempt to conceal his desperation to stop her questions. But one look at her face and he sighed, knowing there was no way out of the conversation. Her eyes boring into him, she held his gaze for a few seconds as he intensely stared at her.

 

"Do we really have to do this now?", he finally asked, somewhere between reluctant and accepting. "Here?"

 

Nodding her head, Jess watched as he slumped back against the wall of the stall in resignation and stared down at his feet, his hands in his pockets.

 

"Did you really mean all of that?", she repeated her question, and he rested his head against the stall and swallowed hard.

 

"What do you want me to say here, Jess? I already told you. Of course I do mean all of it." What were they getting themselves into? It was obvious that she intended to have this conversation right then and there, and it made him anxious to not know where she stood about it.

 

"Do you remember...", Jess started. "Do you remember what you told me a few years ago, at that Christmas party where I ran into Sam after we broke up the first time?", she asked, standing up to meet his gaze as he immediately lifted his head back to look at her. Recognition flashed in his eyes and he stared back at her. "You said..."

 

"That you are the kind of girl a guy would come back for" he finished, the words he once old her imprinted in his head after he'd replayed the scene countless times. Of course I remember, Jess", he sighed, memories of that moment bringing a timid smile to their faces. Silence fell around them as they just stared at each other, both of them deep in thought. Locking her eyes on his, she tilted her head to the side, a small frown starting to form on her face.

 

"Then why didn't you?", she whispered, taking a step towards him and letting her arms fall to her sides. "Why didn't you, Nick?", she repeated, her voice louder and clearer. Unable to tell whether she was upset or confused, he could feel his own confusion grow along with a feeling of sudden tiredness.

 

"Why didn't I what?", he asked, placing his hands on his hips and moving away from the wall and closer to her. "Where is this all coming from? Why now, Jess?", he asked, frustrated at the whole situation that had arisen from a seemingly friendly conversation. "Why are you doing this now?"

 

"I'm just trying to understand", she answered quietly, avoiding his eyes as she stared intently at the flowers on her dress.

 

"Understand what?", he asked, placing his finger on her jaw and lifting her chin up to meet her eyes, his voice softening at what he knew was coming.

 

"I just...", she started, shaking her head and letting out a low, humourless laugh. "What happened to us, Nick?"

 

The weight of her question and the sad catch in her voice making his heart clench, Nick's hands quickly reached for hers, as he laced their fingers together. "Jess", he began, tugging on her hands and making her step forward. "I don't know what to say to you", he sighed. "It's been four months, and I just...", he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "This is clearly not working."

 

"I know", she said, looking down briefly at their joined hands as he gave them a light squeeze. "We are a mess, aren't we?", she asked, smiling up at him.

 

"Definitely", he agreed, as he returned her smile. "We gotta figure this one out, Jess."

 

"I know", she repeated. "But I don't know how. It's just too hard, and it shouldn't be this hard, right?", she said, as he nodded his head in agreement. The sight of her pained expression gave him all the courage he needed to open himself up to her.

 

"But I need you to know, Jess...", he started, "that I'm still...", he tried, his tongue darting out as he struggled with his words. Even though unsure of what her reaction would be, he knew he had to tell her. "I still love you."

 

One of her hands fell from his grip and moved up his chest, her fingers curling around his tie before she placed her arm around his neck. "So do I, Nick", she said, watching as a grin spread across his face as relief flooded through his body. "So do I", she repeated, smiling back at him.

 

His hand left hers and he slowly slid both his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and resting their foreheads together. "More than I've ever loved anyone", she added in a whisper. Her words sinking deep into him, Nick lowered his head and captured her lips in a soft, tender kiss in which they poured every emotion they'd tried to will away. But it soon became not enough, and Jess opened her lips to him, an involuntary moan escaping her throat. Threading her arms around his neck, she pushed her body into his and he turned them around, her back hitting the wall of the stall. His hands were everywhere, and she could feel her skin burning under his touch. His lips trailed down her jaw and landed on her neck, her head tipping back against the wall with a painfully loud thump that made her curse under her breath. The noise made Nick tear his lips away from her neck, lifting his eyes to meet her now annoyed expression. He lifted his hands to her hair, softly rubbing her head as he chuckled, her eyes softening at the sound of his laughter. "Told you we should have gotten out of here", he whispered against her cheek, pressing a soft kiss to her skin while keeping his hands between her head and the wall. She turned her head and kissed him again, this time slowly. He slid his hands down her body and rested them on her hips, breaking their lips away but keeping her in his embrace.

 

"Jess...", he began, willing to calm his breathing. "I love you, and I know we can make this work. I don't want to live in Mars, and I don't want to drive a truck", he said, encouraged by the way her eyes seemed to smile at his words. "If you just gave me another chance to prove it to you..."

 

"No, Nick", she interrupted, his face falling at her words. Sensing him trying to move away from her, she grabbed his arms before they fell from her hips, stilling them there. Confused, he stared at her and tried to decipher her expression."Let's give us another chance", she finished. His eyes lit up as a huge grin broke out across his face, and she stroked his cheek softly. Unable to stop himself, he let out a sincere laugh that made her stomach flutter. How could I throw this away?, she thought, shaking her head to clear her now glistening eyes.

 

"Are we really going to do this?", he asked, more to himself than to her. Nodding her head, she leaned into his embrace and inhaled his familiar, strong scent. "We are doing this", she said, and felt his arms tightening around her. "We still have a lot to talk about, though."

 

"I know", he answered. "But let's just...not do it here. Is that OK?", he asked, as she chuckled and let go of him.

 

"Yeah, we should really get back out there", she said, as he reached for the doorknob. Exiting the stall, he met her eyes in the mirror and took her hand, leading her towards the door. "Schmidt's gonna freak", he laughed, as they made their way out of the restroom. The feeling of holding his hand again after so many months had an enormous grin spread across her face while they rejoined the reception. As they approached the tables, their friends nowhere to be found and Nick muttering something about salt and pepper in disgust, she found herself being slowly dragged away from their now empty table and into the dance floor. Pulling her into her arms, Nick tried to imitate the people around them, awkwardly swaying to the music. Focusing his gaze on her, he took in her slightly flushed cheeks and overly bright eyes, and slid his hands to rest on the small of her back.

 

"Nick?", she whispered, smiling up at him.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"We are not naming our kid Reginald."

 

The sound of his laugh fell around them as they continued to move to the slow beat of the music. They would have a lot to talk about, but for now, their hearts felt lighter knowing that after all, they were going to be fine.


	14. Clean Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What If... something did go down between Nick and Jess after she put the mug out by the door?

  **CLEAN BREAK**

 

**RATING: T**

 

* * *

 

 

_"We're getting rid of this thing. Especially since you guys aren't using it anymore, right?"_

 

Leaning her back against the couch, Jess took a deep breath and tightened her grip around her glass. She let out a quiet groan and stretched her legs on the couch, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a long sip of wine. A slow grin spread on her face as she giggled to herself softly, her eyes drifting to the wooden table by the front door where she'd placed their mug. Her mind wandered to the last time she'd seen Nick, stretching out and sweating right in front of her, and she suppressed a shiver.

 

She had come home later than usual, and after three exhausting hours of grading papers, she'd decided to relax on the couch, next to an adorable sleeping Winston. But her plan had been disturbed by Nick's apparent need to take his newly picked up hobby to the middle of their living room.

 

With his grunts and moans still resonating in her ears, she shook her head and finished the last of her wine. She knew what she wanted, and she knew it was time to do something about it and put an end to months of awkwardness between them. Setting the now empty glass down, she stood up and walked over to the entrance table, where she picked up the mug and fixed her eyes on it. Jess smiled as another memory filled her mind, although it was not as recent as the previous one. Over a year ago, Nick had been the one to, unknowingly at the time, take the mug out for the last time. And now she'd been the one to make a move and let him know that their back-to-best-friends status was no longer enough for her. But her musings were interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing, as the unmistakable sound of Schmidt's steps became closer.

 

"Hey, Jess", came his voice. "You still up?", he asked, walking past her. She placed the mug down quickly and turned around to face a kimono-clad Schmidt, his sticking up hair and sleepy eyes making her smile.

 

"I was about to go to bed", she answered, and watched him resume his walking towards the bathroom while mumbling what sounded like a "goodnight". When he disappeared behind the door, she took one last look at the mug before turning around to her own bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. Giggling to herself, she let her body rest briefly against it before she walked over to the closet, kicking her flats aside and unbuttoning her dress. She let the garment pool around her feet, a hundred and one thoughts racing through her mind.

 

She had taken the first step, placing their mug out. All she could do now was wait for his next move.

 

And that's how, 20 minutes later, Nick found himself staring at her door in confusion.

 

* * *

 

Sighing, Nick closed the front door as quietly as he could, the darkness of the apartment and its quietness a clear indicator that he was yet again the last one of the roommates to come home from work. Shrugging his hoodie off his shoulders, he hung it by the door and walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge and gulping half of it down in one go. Despite the late hour he flopped down on the couch, legs stretched in front of him while he quietly enjoyed the remaining beer. He grabbed the remote and began to lazily flick through the channels, not really paying attention to the lousy commercials playing on the TV. Groaning, he turned it off and stood up, walking back to the kitchen to dispose of the empty bottle. His back and feet telling him that he really needed to catch some rest, Nick headed for his bedroom. Walking by the front door, his eyes unconsciously scanned the table that stood by it, looking for something he knew he no longer saw there every night. His eyes widened as he stopped dead in his tracks, his heart hammering against his chest and his mouth falling open. Glancing towards Jess' closed door he frowned, his stare going back and forward between the mug and her door, the confusion evident in his face.

 

Nick shook his head slowly and felt himself reaching for the mug, holding it carefully in his hands as his brain struggled to find a reasonable explanation. But before he could find one, his feet carried him across the hall to stand in front of her door. Not hearing any sounds coming from the room, he thought of going back to his room and act as if he'd never seen the mug. Maybe it wasn't her? Maybe one of the guys used it for themselves and happened to just leave it there? Nick shook his head. It was her, he knew it, but why? Feeling a thrill going down his spine, he raised his hand and knocked softly on her door.

 

After a few seconds of silence, he started to turn towards his own bedroom when he heard her door cracking open, he wide blue eyes greeting him before they came to focus on the mug in his hands. Lifting her eyes back to his face, she noticed his expression and bit down on her lip, her insecurities suddenly back in full force. Stepping back from the frame, she silently waited for Nick to follow her into the room, quietly closing the door behind him when he did and turning to face him. But she was met with his back, his head down as he kept staring at the mug. She could almost see the wheels in his head turning rapidly, and she took a deep breath.

 

"Nick?", she asked softly. The sound of her voice seemed to snap him out of his trance and he turned around, his gaze searching hers questioningly as he struggled to understand.

 

Not taking his eyes off Jess, he silently handed her the mug, watching as she took it from him and smiled slightly before turning her back to him and placing it down on her desk. Facing him once again, she bit down on her lip and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his prolonged silence and penetrating stare making her nervous. Jess looked down at her feet and waited for him to say something, to finally break the awkward situation.

 

"Jess...", he finally began. "What..." he interrupted himself, motioning his head towards the now discarded object. "Why did you put it out?", he asked, his blunt question making her blush. "I just came home from work, and then...", he stopped and shrugged his shoulders as he continued to look at her. "Why did you put it out?", he repeated, watching her squeeze her eyes shut and flinch in what looked like a mixture of embarrassment and discomfort.

 

"Oh my God", she muttered, the confidence she'd been feeling not even half an hour before suddenly evaporating. "Nick, look, I just... I don't know what I was thinking", she started, gesturing with her hands and adverting her gaze to the window behind him.

 

"You don't know what you were thinking?", he repeated, tilting his head to the side. "You and I both know exactly what that mug means, Jess."

 

"Nick, I don't...", she retorted, "I just wan't thinking, and then..."

 

"Do you want to have sex with me?", he interrupted, watching her eyes widen in surprise.

 

Her brain screamed for her to give a negative answer to his query, to blame everything on those two glasses of wine after a bone tiring day, to tell him it was nothing but a joke. But she knew that he'd see right through her lies and the words were out of her lips before she even had a chance to think their implications through. "Yes, I do."

 

Her answer seemed to surprise him, but he refused to break eye contact with her as he questioned her further. "Is that it?", he asked. "Is that all you want?", he pressed. She didn't answer him, instead she focused on his ragged breathing, on his darkened eyes that told her everything she wanted to know. He was looking at her in a way she could easily remember, her own breathing speeding up to match his. He wanted her, she was sure of it.

 

"Nick, I just...", she sighed. "I just thought...", she tried again, his burning stare and the desire she saw there loosening her tongue. "I miss having sex with you", she finally mumbled, watching him turtle face at her.

 

"So that's it, then?", he said. When she nodded quietly, he frowned and crossed his arms across his chest, not missing the way her eyes darted to his exposed forearms. "I'm not going to have sex with you, Jess", he said, the convincement in his voice and the determined look on his face surprising her and himself. Moving her gaze back to his face, she frowned back at him and stomped her foot on the floor.

 

"Why not?", she asked. "I know you want me", she simply said, hands on her hips as he let out a humourless chuckle. Jess took a step forward, coming so close to him she could see the way his pupils seemed to get even larger. Biting down on her lip, she couldn't stop the smile that formed on her face as his eyes immediately dropped to her lips before he snapped them back up. One last step and she was standing right in front of him, their faces inches away from each other. He let his arms drop at his sides at the same time she circled his neck with hers, pressing her body against his. But as she leaned forward he turned his head and her lips landed on his cheek, his hands on her shoulders gently pushing her away from him. "Stop it, Jess."

 

Moving to walk past her, he didn't miss the sight that escaped her. "I'm sorry, but you can count me out on this one", he said, his brain seemingly recovering the ability to function now that he'd put some space between them. "I can't believe...", he started, more to himself than to her. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge in his nose. "I'm just gonna...", he muttered, pointing to her door and starting to walk away.

 

"Nick, wait!", she stopped him, grabbing his arm before he reached the doorknob. "Why not?", she asked again, refusing to let him exit her bedroom. His stomach clenched, his eyes fixing on her hand on his arm and the way it made his skin burn. He swallowed loudly, the frown on his face even deeper than before as he yanked away from her grasp. He circled her body so she was now against the door, no trace of amusement or even disappointment in his face. She had seen grumpy Nick plenty of times, but this was different. He was now angry, and Jess could see the hurt and fury in his eyes.

 

"What is wrong with you?", he gritted out.

 

"What?", she whisper-yelled. "Wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with me!"

 

"Oh really? So it's completely normal for you to just ask me to have sex with you?"

 

"Why not?", she repeated. "It's not like you haven't thought of it, too", she accused, his proximity making her dizzy. "I know you have", she added.

 

"That's not...", he started. But he shook his head slowly, letting his head back and shutting his eyes tightly. "I can't believe that's all you want from us, Jess. After everything we've been through, I just don't. I don't believe that's all you want."

 

"But it is, Nick", she argued. "For the last few weeks, it's all I can think about. I can't sleep, I can't even be around you without... God, Nick, I just want you so much", she said, the need evident in her voice. Her watery eyes seemed to soften his expression, now more pained than angry. All he wanted to do now was reach out and pull her in his arms, bury his face in her neck and hold her body close to him. But he couldn't. And she knew he couldn't give her what she was asking for.

 

Giving a resigned sigh, he pushed himself away from the door. "I can't have sex with you, Jess, because it could never be just sex between us. Not after...", he stopped, looking down at his hands. "You know that, Jess", he said, lifting her chin to meet her eyes. "You know I'm right", he paused and took a deep breath, his heart beating like crazy against his chest. "And even if it could be just sex for you, it would never... It would never be it for me", he explained. "Nothing can be 'just' anything when it comes to you, Jess", he completed, the honesty in his voice making her lip quiver as she tried to hold back a sob. "You know I'd do anything for you, Jess. But this... This is the one thing I won't do."

 

Running his hand through his messy hair, he saw her quietly attempting to dry her eyes, taking a step away from the door. "You're right", she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, Nick", she said, stepping away so he could finally leave her room. He felt his heart clench in pain at her sadness, and his feet seemed to be glued to the floor. He knew he should leave, he knew he should just go to bed and forget the last twenty minutes. He watched her walk to her bed, where she sat down and turned her head away from him, closing her eyes as she waited for him to leave. But he found himself sitting next to her on the bed, grasping her hand in his as she tried to avoid his eyes, refusing to let him see the pain his rejection had caused her.

 

"Jessica, please, look at me", he begged.

 

After a few seconds he was finally met with her baby blues, now lacking their usual brightness. He had always hated to see her cry, but the fact that it was because of him she was crying made it almost unbearable for him to stand. Before he knew what was happening he felt her forehead against his chin, his arm embracing her tightly as her body shook with silent sobs. They stood like that, with him whispering soothing words to her while she held onto him, her tears wetting his shirt. After what seemed like an eternity he felt her slowly separating herself from him, her face and eyes still red but no longer crying. Without letting go of her, he twisted his body and reached for the tissues on her nightstand, grabbing a few and handing them to her. "Thanks", she whispered, cleaning her face. She looked down at his hand still holding hers in her lap, a sad smile appearing on her face as he clutched it tighter. Lifting her eyes back to his, she was met with his intense stare, the pain she saw there making her swallow the knot that was again rising in her throat. She lifted her hand to his face, pausing lightly before her fingers landed gently on his cheek, his eyes immediately closing as he tilted his head to press his lips to her hand.

 

A sudden coldness washed over his skin as her hand left him, and for a moment they just sat there, breathing slowly and holding each other's gaze. Then it was him leaning forward, capturing her lips with his and swallowing her gasp of surprise. He felt her tense against him, but just as he was about to pull back, her mouth opened to his and he pulled her body closer to him, his hands on her hips as he kissed her with months of pent-up feelings. She moaned against him and he tightened his arms around her, her hands going around his shoulders to steady her trembling self. When they had to come up for air, Nick broke he kiss, pressing their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breaths. He looked down at her closed eyes and flushed cheeks, her pale skin and delicate features hard to make out in the dimly lit bedroom. But as she opened her eyes to look at him, he was mesmerized by the emotions not so well hidden in her blue orbs. And he was unable to stop himself as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

 

"I love you, Jess", he said softly.

 

She sucked in a breath and lifted her head up to look at him. "What?"

 

"God, Jess...", he shook his head slowly. "It's been so long and I can't just pretend I don't", he completed, the steadiness in his own voice surprising him. "I love you", he repeated. "And I don't..."

 

But his words were cut off by her lips crashing into his, his blood roaring in his ears as her arms flung around his neck and she pressed her body against his. Breaking away from his mouth, she raised herself on her knees and straddled his body, his arms immediately going to her thighs to bring her even closer to him. Her fingers pulled at his hair as she met his lips again, his tongue exploring her mouth and sending tingles down her spine.

 

"Oh, God, Nick", she breathed out, tearing her lips away from his. "You love me?", she asked him, a bright smile illuminating her face as he nodded at her words.

 

"That's why I can't do this, Jess", he said, his hands falling from her back.

 

"But Nick", she started, the smile still lingering on her lips. "You are not alone in that."

 

His eyes snapped back to hers, the shock evident in his face. "What?"

 

She laughed softly at him, kiss his frowning forehead. "You heard me, Miller", she teased.

 

Burying his face in her chest, he breathed deeply as he listened to her rapid heart beats and felt her hands tracing lazy circles on his back.

 

"Say it", he muttered, needing to hear the words from her.

 

"I love you, Nick. I don't think I ever stopped", she said. "I guess I was just..."

 

"Trying to convince yourself that you didn't?", he finished for her. "Been there, done that", he laughed, the first real laugh in an embarrassingly long time.

 

"Does this mean we're back together?", she asked, her voice sounding insecure for the first time.

 

"Well, Jess...", he smiled. "I'm all in. Are you all in?", he asked, and she threw her arms around him in response.

 

He lifted her hands to her face and pulled her down to him, pressing a kiss against her smile. "Can we just forget the last year ever happened?", she asked against his lips. "The break up, the cruise, Kai, pee-in-the-shower girl..."

 

"Ryan...", he added, both their faces falling at that.

 

"Nick", she started. "Ryan was a good guy", she said, his arms tensing around her. "But he wasn't you. All the things you told me while we were in Portland, they made me realise that he would never be what I wanted. What I want", she corrected.

 

"Are you sure?", he asked. "Because seeing you with him, seeing how fast you fell for him... It killed me, Jess."

 

"Nick, look at me", she said. "I never loved Ryan. Not the way I love you, anyways. Sure, he was cute and all that", Nick rolled his eyes at her and fake-gagged, "but at the end of the day..."

 

"He wasn't me?", Nick asked, a cocky smirk appearing on his face. She rubbed his arm slow, nodding her head at him. "And he helped me see how much I missed being with you", she completed, as he clasped their hands together.

 

"Though Nick, you do have to admit, that pee-in-the-shower girl was way more disgusting", she smiled, watching as he rolled his eyes and gagged again.

 

"Can we just change topics, please?", he asked, his hand sliding up towards her naked thighs. She shivered, watching his hand disappearing under her robe, his fingers rubbing against her soft skin.

 

"Or better yet, we can just stop talking for today", she said, pushing him to lie back on the bed and hovering above him, struggling to lose the robe.

 

"We do have a lot to talk about still...", he muttered, his arms automatically helping her untie her robe as she threw it somewhere on the floor. His hands were fast to unsnap her bra, his mouth caressing her breast as a loud moan escaped her throat. Rolling her on her back, he settled in between her legs as she reached for his shirt, pushing it over his head to join her clothes on the floor.

 

"I know", she agreed. Soon, they had managed to rid themselves of their clothes, their hands exploring each other's skin and their bodies perfectly moulding together once again. His lips sucked on her neck as his hands relished in the feel of her after so long, her back arched towards him as he whispered against her neck.

  
_"But not today."_


End file.
